Pictures

I finally figured out how to post pictures. So if anyone checks this anymore, here are a couple of recent pictures of Sarah.

Growing Up

I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted. Time sure flies when you are taking care of a baby, a husband, his family and a house. That is a lot on one person's plate ya know?! This new experience in my life (the baby) leaves really no time for anything else. If I do have free time I really have no desire to pick up the phone and call someone. Believe it or not, some people understand this and call me every now and then. I hardly even get out of the house which is something I have to make myself do more often. Fortunately, while Andy's parents were here I could take a nap occasionally without having to worry about the baby and if she spit up or if she needs her diaper changed or if it was near feeding time, etc. But now I have to get ready for his sister and her new husband to get here. They get here in two weeks and will be here for a week.

One thing I have learned recently is that my family is the most important thing in the world to me. Especially now that we are our own little family. It isn't just Lisa and Andy anymore, we are the McNaughton Family. I have also learned what it means to be an adult. No more silly high school games or antics that we women are so well known for. High school cattiness follows women forever into adulthood for some reason and it is sooooo ridiculous. Eventually you should learn how to weed out the unhealthy relationships and move forward with the ones that are life giving. That is not saying that unhealthy relationships can't become life giving, but in that case, changes must be made because obviously there is a reason why the relationship is not a good one. In some cases people can be insecure and jealous and self-centered, yet completely unaware of that fact. And when they are unaware it becomes a one sided relationship. The unaware half spends all their time saying - why me? Why are people always doing things to me? I give and I give and I give, why don't I ever receive? Not realizing that the other half is always giving to them trying to make them happy, but the truth is the unaware half thinks the entire world is against them, so they will never truly be happy until they find happiness within themselves first. And the other half also spends all their time coddling that person, walking on egg shells around that person so as not to offend them or set them off on a new pity party. When you have to watch everything you say and do, when you have to withhold information so as not to start a scuffle, when you can't just be relaxed knowing that you can call that person or just drop by unnounced and you will be embraced, loved and supported no matter what, when you have to think about what you can and can't say, such as who you spend time with or what you are doing, then the relationship is clearly unhealthy. Most often you become the bad guy for everything anyway so what is the difference if you become the bad guy for weeding out these relationships because the unaware are most often always unaware and nothing will change that. Some people let insecurity and jealousy win over and never realize that there might just be something wrong with them rather than the rest of the world. They never realize that it is their insecurity and jealousy and whatever else that causes people to run from them because others can only take it for so long. Coddling and walking on egg shells forever leaves you unhappy, takes too much energy that you don't have to waste in the first place and enables them to be as they are - unaware.

Anyway, I didn't mean to set off on this tangent, but having a baby puts so many things into perspective. She is my whole life and not because I feel that the world has told me that she has to be just because she is my baby, but because I love her more than anyone can ever know. She is a peice of me. She means everything to me. Someone told me to make a wish yesterday and my wish was for her not for myself. She comes first in my life, Andy of course is an extremely close second and all my healthy, life giving relationships come next, anything else falls away and I have learned that that is the way it should be.

So if anyone actually reads this blog anymore, take this post as you will. I hope you understand where I am coming from, but I am also comfortable knowing that you may disagree. Think I am terrible and hate me if you will or try and understand anothers point of view. Do what you will, but either way won't make one difference to me at this point because I am comfortable with myself and with decisions I have made such as the decision to actually post this rather than type it up only to delete it so as not to offend anyone. Some people will always be offended and there is nothing I can do about that.

I haven't decided if I will post again after this. I think I may be done with blogging. So for now, good day to you. And believe this if you want, but I do wish all of you out there the best.