Truth Be Told

Pictures

2006-06-13T15:59:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out how to post pictures. So if anyone checks this anymore, here are a couple of recent pictures of Sarah.

Growing Up

2006-05-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted. Time sure flies when you are taking care of a baby, a husband, his family and a house. That is a lot on one person's plate ya know?! This new experience in my life (the baby) leaves really no time for anything else. If I do have free time I really have no desire to pick up the phone and call someone. Believe it or not, some people understand this and call me every now and then. I hardly even get out of the house which is something I have to make myself do more often. Fortunately, while Andy's parents were here I could take a nap occasionally without having to worry about the baby and if she spit up or if she needs her diaper changed or if it was near feeding time, etc. But now I have to get ready for his sister and her new husband to get here. They get here in two weeks and will be here for a week.

One thing I have learned recently is that my family is the most important thing in the world to me. Especially now that we are our own little family. It isn't just Lisa and Andy anymore, we are the McNaughton Family. I have also learned what it means to be an adult. No more silly high school games or antics that we women are so well known for. High school cattiness follows women forever into adulthood for some reason and it is sooooo ridiculous. Eventually you should learn how to weed out the unhealthy relationships and move forward with the ones that are life giving. That is not saying that unhealthy relationships can't become life giving, but in that case, changes must be made because obviously there is a reason why the relationship is not a good one. In some cases people can be insecure and jealous and self-centered, yet completely unaware of that fact. And when they are unaware it becomes a one sided relationship. The unaware half spends all their time saying - why me? Why are people always doing things to me? I give and I give and I give, why don't I ever receive? Not realizing that the other half is always giving to them trying to make them happy, but the truth is the unaware half thinks the entire world is against them, so they will never truly be happy until they find happiness within themselves first. And the other half also spends all their time coddling that person, walking on egg shells around that person so as not to offend them or set them off on a new pity party. When you have to watch everything you say and do, when you have to withhold information so as not to start a scuffle, when you can't just be relaxed knowing that you can call that person or just drop by unnounced and you will be embraced, loved and supported no matter what, when you have to think about what you can and can't say, such as who you spend time with or what you are doing, then the relationship is clearly unhealthy. Most often you become the bad guy for everything anyway so what is the difference if you become the bad guy for weeding out these relationships because the unaware are most often always unaware and nothing will change that. Some people let insecurity and jealousy win over and never realize that there might just be something wrong with them rather than the rest of the world. They never realize that it is their insecurity and jealousy and whatever else that causes people to run from them because others can only take it for so long. Coddling and walking on egg shells forever leaves you unhappy, takes too much energy that you don't have to waste in the first place and enables them to be as they are - unaware.

Anyway, I didn't mean to set off on this tangent, but having a baby puts so many things into perspective. She is my whole life and not because I feel that the world has told me that she has to be just because she is my baby, but because I love her more than anyone can ever know. She is a peice of me. She means everything to me. Someone told me to make a wish yesterday and my wish was for her not for myself. She comes first in my life, Andy of course is an extremely close second and all my healthy, life giving relationships come next, anything else falls away and I have learned that that is the way it should be.

So if anyone actually reads this blog anymore, take this post as you will. I hope you understand where I am coming from, but I am also comfortable knowing that you may disagree. Think I am terrible and hate me if you will or try and understand anothers point of view. Do what you will, but either way won't make one difference to me at this point because I am comfortable with myself and with decisions I have made such as the decision to actually post this rather than type it up only to delete it so as not to offend anyone. Some people will always be offended and there is nothing I can do about that.

I haven't decided if I will post again after this. I think I may be done with blogging. So for now, good day to you. And believe this if you want, but I do wish all of you out there the best.

Welcome Sarah

2006-04-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I just wanted to update that our baby girl was born on Monday, April 10th at 2:28 pm. She weighed 7.4 lbs and is 20 inches. I'll have to ask Andy about posting a picture here. Labor was about 12 hours. My water broke at about 1:45 am, I woke Andy up immediately and we headed off to the hospital. We got home last night around 8:30. Everything has been great. Well, new anyway. :) They let her stay in the hospital room all night the first night and of course Andy stayed at the hospital too, so we took turns staying up and keeping our eye on her. We of course think she is beautiful! I was glad they discharged us after one night. But she is doing so well. She had no problems, no jaundice or anything so they had no problem letting her go. I was so glad to get home.

It's funny that I had a dream about her a couple weeks ago and the number 15 was prominent in my dream and she was 15 days early. Probably just a coincedence, but interesting nonetheless. I was hoping she would be early, and I had a feeling when I went to bed on Sunday night that that would be the night, but thought it was probably just wishful thinking on my part. I am so glad she is here before Easter. I wish I could take her to church, but I am not ready to see that many people yet, and it is too early to take her out and expose her to that many people.

It's also a good thing that Monday the 10th was to officially start my maternity leave from work. I actually went into the office to finish some things up on Saturday, then spent Sunday cleaning the house and you know about Monday. So I really didn't even get a day off, but that is ok. I definitely don't mind. :)

That is my update for now. Like I said, I will try and post a picture of her later.

Laptop

2006-04-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it has happened. I have a laptop. It's not really mine. It belongs to the office, but they finally realized that this was a better solution to my working from home than bringing a whole desktop home. I was glad to hear that, but Andy was more glad than me of course. So we went and got the whole wireless connection thing after work today. I am sitting on the recliner ready to go up to bed soon, typing this short post.

This week is my last week at work and so starting next Monday I will be at my parent's house while Andy is at work in the event I go into labor. There is nothing new. As the doctor put it yesterday we are now just playing the waiting game. I am 37 weeks and she can be born at any time. Though who knows how long it will really be.

Anyway, that is about all. I said it would be short. Just checking in I guess, and just testing out the whole laptop thing since this is so new to me.

Bye again for now!

Baby on the Brain

2006-03-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I thought it might be time for a little update I suppose. Things have been nuts and I think they are going to start finally slowing down so we can really get ready for Sarah.

The baby showers are over and I had a wonderful time at both!! My family and friends really outdid themselves and I am sooooo very appreciative. Last weekend we also picked up the crib and dresser for Sarah's room and her room is all put together and ready to go. Clothes are hung up and put away and we have new curtains in the room. It looks cute. We didn't paint or anything before hand because I think we are going to start looking for a new house in June. We have mostly everything we need too, just a couple of the smaller things left to get, but her swing and stroller and everything is all put together. I just have to put my bag together for the hospital and put together the diaper bag and then I think we will be set for when the time comes, even though we have 6 weeks left until her due date.

This past weekend we spent with my mom because her birthday was Saturday, the 11th, which seemed to be a popular "birth"day. Tony and Siri's little babies were born on Saturday morning as well as most of you reading this know, Crystal and Janell's nephew. It was so great to get the phone calls about all these little bundles of joy!! Andy made sure to tell Sarah not to get any ideas though. :)

Then we did our tour of Spring Valley hospital yesterday afternoon after doing some house cleaning. It was informative and at least now we know where to go when the time comes. That puts me a little more at ease. And that's another thing taken care of. Then we have two more childbirth classes which are both this week, Tuesday night and Friday night and we will be done with that. Then we just have to finish getting the house ready to go, one of the main things is moving the computer room around so that I would want to do work in there since I will be working from home for a little while, and then it is just wait time I guess.

I love being pregnant, but I think I am getting to the point where I am ready to have my body back to being my body as much as possible. I know you never really get it back, but I think I am ready to take care of my baby outside of my body if that makes sense. I am getting to the point where I get pretty uncomfortable at times, mostly when I am trying to sleep. But I can't wait to see my precious baby girl!!!

Aside from baby on the brain, Andy has gotten a new position at work. He is now doing internal tech support for official UPS hubs as opposed to just the Joe Schmo's who ship with UPS software. He finished his two week training last week and thinks he will like this a lot better. I don't know if I mentioned any of this before, so sorry if I did. But anyway, he was doing 8-5 the last two weeks, right now he is doing 7-3:30 and who knows what his official schedule will be and when it will start. It quite possibly may be a midnight-8:00 position or something, who knows! So we will just have to see. I am planning on being ready to work from home by around 4/7 and then maybe maternity leave by the 15th. So we will see how that goes. They gave me a laptop to use so that I don't have to take my whole tower home that I currently use here, which is good because we don't really have room for another tower in the computer room. It's crowded enough as it is. So that is all the business/work update side of things.

That is about it I guess. I just have baby baby baby on the brain these days, but I don't think I can help it really.

Just Some Stuff

2006-02-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day. We didn't really do much, but we don't usually for Valentine's. Andy sent me flowers at work and they actually got to me on Monday instead, but that is just as good. I didn't get a chance to get or do anything for him so I felt bad, but I don't think he minded. We went out to an early dinner, but it was nothing romantic, I needed to eat and he wasn't hungry because they had a potluck at work, so we just went to Chevy's at the Galleria and walked around a little and then went to our first childbirth class. It was good. Very informative. She went over what the next 4 classes would entail and went over some pregnancy terms. She also went over a lot of the scary stuff that women might not think about, but is good to know in the event it happens. She said she wanted to get all that out of the way up front. And she also went over false labor and Braxton Hicks contractions as opposed to the real deal. That was also good info to get. Next week I think starts the whole breathing part because we have to bring two pillows and a small blanket. Should be interesting. We also have to stop by the hospital sometime soon to preregister. I guess you can do that any time after 28 weeks and I am now 30, so best to get that out of the way.

We went to the Christian Unity Concert last night at church. It was ok. I know that it is by no means a competition between the churches, but you kinda always want your own to shine, and I have to say that this year, the Mormon group blew everyone else out of the water. Their two performance peices were duets and really pretty. Compared to last year where the Mormon group had about 10 people singing and it was all accapella old hymn music. Not that our group or the Pentacostal group was bad, just not as good. But that's ok. I think maybe the Mormon group was just better prepared too. I ran into an old friend from high school. She was part of the Mormon group. She hasn't changed much. She seemed to skinny to me, but maybe that is because I feel so large these days. We talked a little, and I asked her if her last name was still the same or if she got married and she told me her new last name, and her husband is also someone we went to school with for a very long time. He was actually my crush from like, 8th to 10th grade. He came over to talk to me after the concert too. It was all kinda weird, but nice to see them as well. She and I exchanged cell phone numbers and said we really need to keep in touch this time. We saw each other about 4 or 5 years ago and said the same thing and then never called, but who knows, maybe we will get together for lunch or something this time. Like, I said, it was nice to see them. I just wish I had felt like I looked a little better. It was a windy day so my hair was a mess by that time and I was just really tired and I think I had circles around my eyes. I introduced Andy of course and he was a little unkempt looking because he had been chasing Briana around the church and picking her up and stuff. But we are who we are. I'm sure you understand what I mean though, it's always nice to feel like you look your best when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time. Oh well!

Some happy news for Andy, he had applied for a new position at work because he just isn't enjoying what he is doing, and he got it yesterday! It is an internal IT position for actual UPS hubs, not just tech support for people who use UPS software like the other position he had before going to the work force desk. There is no immediate pay increase, but this position holds more of a possiblity for upward movement. I told him if he ends up unhappy with this one though, it is time to move on to another company, not another desk. :) He agreed. He is very happy about it though and the managers and people at his work seem to really like him. He starts training for 2 weeks on February 27th and it will be from 8-5, so I won't have to be up at 4:00am. YAY!!!! But from there it is quite possible he could end up with a swing shift so we'll have to see what happens. Time will soon tell.

Anyway, I wish I were at home in bed because I am so very tired, but I am not, I am here at work, so I'd better get to it.

4-D Ultrasound

2006-02-13T06:22:00.000-08:00

Well, this past Saturday, the 11th, was finally our 4-D ultrasound and it was amazing!! Sarah didn't really want to wake up or move for us, but that didn't really surprise me. The ultrasound technician said she seemed to be comfortable with her head up against the placenta almost like she is using it for a pillow. She opened her eyes for us a couple of times which was amazing and she even gave us what appeared to be a few smiles. But she had her foot up by her mouth the whole time and at one point it even looked like she was sucking on her toes. She also had her arms up by her head the whole time and didn't move them so in the pictures right below her chin are her elbows in every picture. If you want to take a look at the pictures you can go to http://dodge.grimmy.info. There are about 60 I think and most of them are similar, since, like I said she didn't really move. The whole thing took about an hour and then we went back to my parent's house to show my dad the DVD and the pictures since he couldn't come to the ultrasound itself. It was a long day because we were up early to pick up my Grandma on the way to the ultrasound and then the ultrasound, my parent's house, I had a hair appointment in the afternoon and then Andy and I went to eat and by the time I got home around 4:30 I was exhausted and spent the rest of the evening hiding out on the couch not talking to anyone or going anywhere. I pretty much played hermit until church last night.

Anyway, since the pictures we of course can't help but keep looking at them ourselves all the time and we have been playing the whole - who does she look like? - game. A few people have said me, but I think she will have the best of both of us and it is hard to tell right now of course. Now, I just really really can't wait to see her!! 10 weeks left until my due date. We start childbirth classes tomorrow and we will probably go look for a crib and dresser this week after work and clean out her room of the odds and ends that are in there now this weekend to get ready for my first baby shower on February 25th. It is all coming up so quickly. I am so excited!

I hope you like the pictures of our little girl!!! I know I am biased, but I love them!

Just a Rant

2006-02-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

I think I will rant for a minute on music lately. What prompted this is that I heard the song Stickwitu by the Pussycat Dolls on VH1 this morning, the title should tell you everything right there. I have heard it before and I know it is a popular song, but I think Andy put it best once when it was on, I think I get dumber just listening to it. If you haven't heard it, the refrain is:

"Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u"

Now, in the lyrics it says the word "appreciate", but in the song, they sing "preciate" only. At least that is how I hear it.

I am not saying this is a bad song, but I can't stand how people make things fit a song. I can't stand lyrics that don't make sense or have made up words in them. This of course is just my personal opinion. I like things to have meaning especially music. I think the reason for this is because I love music and I love poetry and to me, lyrics are a form of poetry. I listen to music all day at work and of course any time I am in the car and it just seems like bands and groups now have no meaning and I find myself changing stations or songs all the time. There are a few bands that I love that I have mentioned before like Audioslave and Jason Mraz. But music just isn't the art that it used to be. And I miss that artistry. I know that the world is all about money and so music just like everything else is all about sex and sales appeal and that is just really disappointing sometimes.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I will get on with work now.

Still Hard to Believe

2006-01-16T06:27:00.000-08:00

I am far too busy at work to be typing this, but oh well! I am going to have to keep working a little late and come in on the weekend anyway so what the heck?!

We went to do our baby registry at Babies R Us this weekend. I thought it was going to be more fun. It was fun, but at the same time it was totally overwhelming! I get overwhelmed easily if you didn't know?! It's so hard to choose what to register for. I was talking with a friend about their wedding registry and she said she thinks baby would be easier than wedding, and I don't think so. At least with wedding there is a lot of - what do we need? - but there is also a whole lot of - what do we want? Where baby stuff is more like - OMG! WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ANOTHER LIFE!!! WHAT DO WE NEED???? That's how I felt anyway. And there are so many people telling you what you need and don't need and a lot of times everyone's advice contradicts the other. Like - a swing will be your lifesaver. Then you get - don't buy a swing, borrow one from someone because your child might hate it. How do you know?!?! I guess you only know when the time comes.

That is the other thing. No matter how many times I feel Sarah move and see her in an ultrasound, or hear her heartbeat, it still doesn't feel real. I mean, we are going to have a baby in 3 1/2 months and I just can't believe it sometimes! I can't wait to see her and hold her, and I love feeling her move, but it just doesn't feel real. I have been told that it won't feel real until after she is born and you realize that no one is coming to take her back.

On another note, I love being pregnant and there are a lot of things I expected, well at least I thought I did, but I just wasn't ready for them. Like, my belly button disappearing. That is just weird. Or someone telling me that my ankles and feet are swollen. When did that happen?? I get really self-conscious though. People tell me that I am glowing and that being pregnant suits me, and I love that. I love looking pregnant, but then there are other comments that I wonder - how do I take this? For example, someone at church last week said how small I looked for being as far along as I am and I thought that was great! But then she told me yesterday how big I have gotten in a week since she told me I was small. I didn't think I had grown that much. I didn't know what to say so of course I just smiled.

Andy doesn't understand why I get so upset about feeling huge. He never will. I tried to explain last night, but he wasn't really in a mood to hear it I don't think. But my family is full of big women, who were really tiny at one time and have told me constantly over the years just to wait until I get pregnant and I will get fat like the rest of them. Well, I don't want that to happen! I don't over eat, I don't think. I really don't eat much more than before I got pregnant. But I guess I am just so worried that I will never be able to take off any weight I have gained after Sarah is born. I guess maybe it is this way of thinking that will help me take the initiative the lose the weight after. Here's hoping!

Anyway, I guess I have rambled on enough, and I know that some of you probably wanted to stop reading after you found out it was a post about my pregnancy, but it is the most important thing in my life right now, so I guess it is what weighs heaviest on my thoughts.

Back to work!

Rich vs. Poor

2006-01-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

This is an email I received and I think this is a great way to look at things!

An Attitude of Gratitude is everything ... I am very rich...

The Difference Between Rich/Poor People?

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to
the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be
considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a
creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go
beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to
protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen
if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what
we don't have.

The After Holiday Calm

2006-01-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

Andy and I took down all of our Christmas decorations this past Monday, January 2nd. Andy was sad to see them go, but I really wasn't. I enjoyed the holidays so don't get me wrong, but it is nice to see my house back to normal. We went to the mall yesterday after work and walked around for a while because we didn't have anywhere to be until choir rehearsal and Andy needed to get his new watch sized and there is a place there that does it. It was such a nice place to be! There was no one there and it was wonderful! We could walk at a leisurely pace and we could go in and out of stores without crowds. No one elbowing each other or in a rush. It was great!! I think the only store that was busy was Victoria's Secret because of a sale, but we didn't have much need to go in there. Not with me getting bigger by the minute it seems.

This was a much better environment than we encountered on Monday at Best Buy. That place was a mad house (as I knew it would be). No one would help us, everyone was pushing and they didn't have what we wanted in stock anyway, so we went to a different one. We bought a video camera. Andy's Christmas/birthday gift from his parent's. So just like the digital camera he got last year, it really is more for both of us, and them of course. I don't blame them though, being so far away they will want videos of their only (for the time being) and first grandbaby.

Anyway, that is all. No big stories, not much going on. I find that lately uneventful is a very good thing!

Low Key Christmas

2005-12-28T06:41:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! I can't believe that the Christmas holiday has passed and we are about to welcome a new year! I spent my Friday off last week finishing my baking and cooking for Christmas Eve and doing laundry and other household chores while Andy was at work. Then I spent the morning of the 24th finishing finishing getting ready for the evening at my parent's house. We picked my grandma up around 3:00 and went over to my parent's and didn't get home until around 10:00. Needless to say, I was asleep by 11:00. It was a fun time though. We got our family time and the kids got a lot of gifts. So many that they didn't even know what to play with because they kept playing as they kept opening things. Actually, Tyler had to go to bed early because with all the people and excitement around him, he started to get an asthma attack so Kim had to put him to bed. Poor kid!! Briana had a great time too because my cousin Tony, his wife April and their two kids were there as well and Briana was really looking forward to playing with Lauren. I just kind of sat back and watched everything going on. That's nothing new though right?! Then Andy and I got up Christmas morning around 7:30 and we opened our gifts and had breakfast and talked to our parents briefly and I got started on our Christmas dinner.

As far as gifts go, it was really low key this year. We did a lot for each other last year. I got Andy a leather jacket and some CD's, and he also has a new Razor phone. He got me a sterling silver and blue topaz ring and matching earings and XM Satellite Radio which we have been enjoying in the car. We got some really cute clothes for Sarah! I love baby clothes!!! My parent's got Andy some new sweaters and they got me a pair of hand painted champagne glasses that are soooo pretty. I have so many pretty drinking glasses, I just don't really drink. But these are for decoration anyway. As for my siblings, we didn't exchange gifts this year. Kim made some cookies for us and I made them banana bread, but that was the extent of it, which was really hard for my brother because he loves buying gifts. Although, Kim did call to thank me on Christmas morning because she had presents under the tree from the kids and I was the one who took care of that this year and my mom told her so. I would have been fine if she never knew it was me though. I also told Andy that next year we should limit our gift spending for each other to $50 and he didn't like that idea very much, but I think it is a good one. I guess we will work on that next year though.

Our dinner turned out really good. I was somewhat impressed with myself. I made a roast chicken for the first time ever and it was so juicy and tender, with yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, carrots, broccoli and stuffing. So, the stuffing and mashed potatoes came from a box, I can only do so much! But it was good for my first Christmas dinner all by myself ever! Our family parted ways on Christmas day. Kim had to spend it with her outlaws, Kevin spent his with his in-laws and my parents went to my aunt and uncle's house. But it was quite nice.

Thank you to anyone who has called to wish us a Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas and I haven't returned the call. I am sorry to say that I have been very anti-social lately. There is no real reason. I can honestly say that I have not been ignoring or avoiding anyone. When I haven't been working or working around the house, I have been laying on the couch or going to bed early. I have just not felt like picking up the phone. Like I said, it has nothing to do with anything or anyone, just in case anyone was wondering.

So that is it for now. I have to get back to work. I am looking forward to another 3 day weekend, and looking forward to celebrating Andy's birthday as well on Saturday. Of course, New Year's Eve will hold no drinking for me this year. I will probably buy a bottle of sparkling apple cider to welcome in the New Year.

In case I don't post again until January, Happy New Year to you all!

The Melting Pot

2005-12-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our 4th anniversary and to celebrate we went to dinner at The Melting Pot. It was good. It was a really nice change from every other restaurant. It is expensive though so it isn't the type of place you would just randomly choose to go for dinner. But well worth it for a special occasion or a good night out. It is a lot of food, but you get to choose a cheese fondue to start and they bring out breads, vegetables and apples for that. Then there is the salad. For dinner you choose wich combination of meats you want and what cooking style you want. Then they get the cooking base boiling and bring he uncooked meat to the table with vegetables and lots of different sauces for the meats for after they are cooked, and of coruse they tell you how to cook them and for how long. Nothing takes more than about 2 minutes because the peices are bite size. Of course the best part was dessert! You get your choice of chocolate fondue and they bring a plate with cheesecake, strawberries, pineapple, brownie, banana and marshmallows. It was soooo good! There is no way to rush this dinner either, so we got to leisurely enjoy each other's company while enjoying a good meal.

Aside from that yesterday, I had an ultrasound appointment in the morning and Sarah looks great! She likes to curl up very tightly. In one picture she is practically folded in half. The ultrasound nurse was calling her a little taco. And there is a great picture too of her legs where her knees are tighlty held together parallel to her head. It is so funny how curled up she gets. I know I am just the mom, but there is also apicture of her face and I can't help but look at her and think - she is so cute!! I know that is crazy because I can't really see her, but I can't help it. It is of course good to know she is healthy and growing just fine, that everything is fine, but that means that we don't get to have another ultrasound, which is a bummer. But I think we are going to look into the 4-D thing in January or February.

That is all for me now. This time I am not posting from work. I am off today! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Merry Merry Merry Christmas to you all!

Where Did It Go?

2005-12-19T06:22:00.000-08:00

Where in the heck did the weekend go???!!! It was a fun one, but went way too quickly!! We had our work Christmas party at Joe's in the new wing of the Forum Shops on Saturday night and that was fun. It was definitely interesting to sit and knock back my bottles of Evian water while everyone else was drinking the night away. Some way more than others of course. But a fun evening was had by all. Things got started around 6:30 and we didn't end up getting home until around 11:00. Not bad for dinner!

Yesterday my mom and I went out to lunch and then we went to see the Nutcracker Ballet. It was so nice spending quality time with my mom because we don't get to do that very often anymore. Even telephone conversations end up quick or interuppted a lot of the time. But that is what happens I guess. The ballet was so good! The costumes were very pretty and the dancing of course was as well! It was really nice to see it back at the Judy Bailey Theater. For a few years it ran at the Samba Theater at the Rio and that was just weird. But going back to the Judy Bailey Theater was nice. It brought back a lot of memories. Especially because there were so many parents there with their little girls all dressed up. It was nice to remember when my mom and I did that every year, just the two of us and then we would always go out for pie at Marie Callendar's after. Not last night though. Good memories, that maybe I can pass along to my daughter someday. Here's to hoping she likes ballet!! I know this has nothing really to do with the ballet, but I was amazed at how easy it was to get out of the parking garage. There was no traffic! It was great!! Anyway, definitely a very fun day!

I guess that is about it. There really isn't too much going on. I have a lot of work to do this week of course, and it is a short week. I am working 3 1/2 days this week. I get to leave work at 9:30 on Thursday because I have an ultrasound and doctor appointment, and Thursday also happens to be our 4th anniversary, so I need to check on reservations somewhere for dinner. Someone here at work was telling me about the Melting Pot and that sounds like a really interesting place and it would be nice to go somewhere new for our anniversary, so we might try there. Then I have Friday off so I have to make a couple of things for Christmas Eve.

Can you believe Christmas is next weekend?! Crazy how quickly it came!! And before we know it of course, we will be celebrating Andy's birthday (ok, I will be celebrating Andy's birthday :)), then ringing in the New Year!!

That is all for now! :)

The Weekend Past

2005-12-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

We had a good weekend, but it was filled with stuff. Maybe not as much stuff as other people, but still busy for us. Friday I was so tired and could barely keep my eyes open by 3:00 pm. I was even told that I looked exhausted like I was going to pass out. So we just went home and I took a quick nap then we had to clean the house. Woo Hoo! Fun right?!

Saturday morning my cousin and her daughter came over. We bought muffins, and they brought Starbucks. They stayed for a few hours and we all visited. I hadn't seen them in a long time. And just as they left and I went to relax on the couch for a little bit, our next set of company showed up. My parents came over and brought my sister's kids. Then we girls left the boys at the house and my mom and I took Briana to Target so she could do some Christmas shopping for her mommy. I already had some things for Kim that can be wrapped and put under her tree, but we wanted Briana to pick out some things for her. It's not right for Kim not to have any gifts to open on Christmas. Though she made a comment last night about how she knows she will have no gifts under the tree. I found out last night that Jeremiah never even bought her anything for Christmas. He would take her out the day after so she could pick out some stuff, but he never bought her anything to open on Christmas morning. Isn't that ridiculous?! I knew he never did anything for her brithday, but I didn't know about the holiday. Then Kim came to get the kids, and my parents went home so Andy and I went to dinner and that was about it. It was a quiet night at home by 8:00, but still a busy day and I fell asleep on the couch in no time.

Yesterday was my Grandma's birthday party. Today is her 81st birthday. Things ended up being a little backwards though. We thought that the whole family was coming over to her house for the party, but once again, the family turnout was very disappointing. It of course was my whole family and my Uncle Phil. My Uncle Phil never told his kids about the party, and so his daughter (my cousin of course) had her son's birthday party (yesterday was his birthday) at the exact same time as Grandma's, so my uncle came to Grandma's, while my aunt went to the other one and of course my cousins didn't come at all. My Uncle Charlie is in FL, my aunt is really sick, another cousin had to work, another was participating in the 24 mile marathon or whatever, so that left the rest of us. It was fine. We had fun, but we had cake and ice cream and everything and then we ended up all (except Uncle Phil) going out to dinner at the Olive Garden. It's just upsetting that the rest of the family can't stop for one day to plan their lives around Grandma for once. They did last year on her 80th, but that was the first and probably the only time they ever will. It drives me crazy! I know that Grandma used to get a little upset because everyone would show up for a birthday party for Grandpa, but then when it was her birthday, the party would always turn out like this one. I don't understand it! But Grandma seemed to have a good time and I am glad that my family could be there to spend the day celebrating her because I think she deserves it! Anyway, that had us home again by about 7:00 and in bed by 8:00.

I know I seem like such a party pooper lately, but I just can't seem to get enough sleep. Not to mention that during the week 4:00 am rolls around rather quickly. Nothing new on the baby front except for I am starting to feel her moving around which always makes me smile. I just can't wait for Andy to be able to feel her move!

I am already thinking that my projects for Christmas won't get done. Mainly the ones I had in mind for Andy's family, so I am going to have to do something else, but I think I know what I am doing I just have to get over to the mall. And then I hope the rest of the stuff just gets done. I am really going to try. I just have a feeling Christmas morning will be here before I know it! The problem with projects for Andy's family is that we have to ship things by the middle of the month, so I don't have all month to work on them like I do other things. Oh well! Maybe next year.

I almost forgot something important! Important to me anyway. :) We cancelled our airline tickets and finally sent them in with the claim forms to have the money refunded and we got the letter of refund confirmation this weekend with the check! We were so pleased to get those in the mail!!! I'm glad that is all over and done with now!

I guess that is all for now. I'd better get back to work.

And the Answer Is.....

2005-11-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

We found out today that we will be welcoming a baby girl in the spring! We are very excited about Sarah Glynnis McNaughton. At first we thought we weren't going to find out because she wasn't cooperating. She was curled up in a little ball and didn't want to move. I didn't realize you should eat something before the ultrasound so that the baby is more active. On top of that, I hadn't eaten since about 12:30 pm and the ultrasound was around 4:00. The ultrasound nurse tried everything to get a good shot, but she just wasn't moving, finally the nurse gave me a bite size Milky Way and the immediate sugar surge made her move. I was absolutely amazed at how quickly food gets to the baby. I never realized it before. Then right after we found out, she curled up into a little ball again so we have to have another ultrasound in a month because she couldn't get a good view of Sarah's heart. Though both she and the doctor said everything looks fine, two arms, two legs, well developing brain and a steady hearbeat. Darn!! Another ultrasound!! (I hope you can all hear my sarcasm there!) It is so great knowing and being able to say "her" instead of "it" or "the baby", and to be able to call her by name! I think I am a little overwhelmed at the moment too for some reason. I don't know if it is because this is making it all the more real or what, but we are definitely excited!

But anyway, that is the news for now. It's a Girl!!!!

All I can say is - What a day! For a couple of reasons. I am both exhausted and completely wired if that makes any sense. Hence my typing this at 10:00 pm. (This is for you Crystal! How's Australia?) When would that normally happen?! I really need to go and make myself relax somehow.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

2005-11-16T06:57:00.000-08:00

I think these are some of the best lyrics I have heard and I just really like this song!!!

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And So It Begins

2005-11-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

Well, last night all the kiddies got to go trick or treating and so officially begins the countdown to holiday madness. In my opinion anyway. I said to Andy this morning, it is November 1st, I have to get working on your family's Christmas presents.

I guess I should start with a short recap. Briana was so excited last night to go trick or treating, and she was the cutest little monkey, that on the way over to my parent's house, she forgot Uncle Andy's name. When it came time for her to leave with Uncle Andy and Papa, her mommy almost went along, and she specifically told her mommy that she couldn't come. She had a great time and she was stuffing herself silly with candy. Who knows when she stopped. My mom told me that when we were kids, she would let us eat candy until we were sick on Halloween night, but I told her I don't remember that. She told me that it was because I was never really a kid and ate my candy in moderation so I never ate candy until I got sick to my stomach. My sister of course then made some comment about how our children will probably never be kids either, and I pointed out that the father of my children was in the other room riding his neice's trycicle and told her to rethink that statement. Tyler didn't get to go out because he was sick and running a fever, so we didn't get to see him all dressed up in a costume, though he did have one. Hopefully next year he'll be better.

But so starts the festivities. We are celebrating Tyler's first birthday and my dad's birthday this coming Sunday and I am sure before we know it, we will be carving the turkey for Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, and we will hopefully know what the sex of our baby is. Hopefully this year everyone will be well and nothing gets in the way of our traditional family Thanksgiving dinner. I am not yet ready for the Christmas decorations in the stores though. And on the way in to work this morning, I saw that Sunset Park is already getting ready for their annual light display. But I have a feeling that this month too will go by quickly, and then it is on to celebrating my grandma's 81st birthday, then Christmas parties, decorations, music, Christmas itself, then Andy's birthday and New Year's. I am really looking forward to all of this, but at the same time I feel suddenly very overwhelmed by it. Which is why I think I need to be ahead of the game this year. Which means I have to make myself get started!

So, onward toward the holiday season we go. In case I forget to mention it later. I wish you all a happy holiday season. One that is stress free and full of laughter.

The Count Down is On

2005-10-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

We had another doctor appointment yesterday. It was great because we got to hear the baby's heartbeat again. I never realized how much faster a baby's heartbeat is than our own. It was a lot easier for the doctor to find it which was exciting because we have a heartbeat monitor at home that we borrowed from a friend and so now maybe we'll be able to find it on our own at home.

I didn't realize how nerve racking it can be between doctor visits. At the beginning you go once a month if you aren't a high risk pregnancy or you aren't having any problems. I know this is the way it has been for many moons, and that the doctors know what they are doing, but for me since I can't feel the baby yet, I can't help but wonder in between visits, what's going on in there? is everything ok? is the heart still beating? I have been told these are normal fears and that I would most definitely know if something was wrong, but I still can't help but wonder. That's why if we can find the baby's heartbeat ourselves then it will make me feel better.

I met with a different doctor yesterday than before. I don't know if I mentioned, but in the office I go to, whoever is on call is the one that delivers the baby so they suggest you see all of them at some point. This was the third I have met with. They have all been nice, but I have been told by my cousin who also goes to this office, that he is kinda new. He was patient and of course competent, but I think I threw him off a little. Part of our visit yesterday was to discuss the tests they suggest, or offer, at 16 weeks. The tests to check if I am a secret carrier of cystic fibrosis, and to see if it is possible the baby has down syndrome, etc. But when he asked if I had a chance to read through any materials on those subjects I told him yes, and firmly told him we are not having the tests done. He went on to say that he had to tell me a little bit more about them, and I listened of course, but I am sure he could tell by the look on my face that what he said didn't make a difference because I had made up my mind. So I had to sign a couple of forms declining the tests.

I don't know if you are wondering why I decided not to take those tests, but cystic fibrosis is no where in my family or Andy's and for a child to get it, they have to receive the gene from both parents. Also the chance of a woman my age having a baby with down syndrome is 1 in 2,000. I have also been told and witnessed with a friend first hand that the test done to check for downs and other handicaps or illnesses, is very inaccurate. But the biggest reason we decided not to do the tests after discussing it and reading through our materials thoroughly is - what difference does it make? I am not going to abort the baby if it has one of these things. No matter what, he or she is the baby God gave us and we are going to love him or her just the same.

So anyway, our next appointment is on November 23rd. This is an ultrasound appointment - finally another one!! - and we will hopefully at this ultrasound be able to find out if it is a boy or a girl. It will be week 18 at that point and we should be able to know as long as the baby is cooperating that day anyway. People keep guessing what they think the baby will be and they ask us what we want or what we think it will be. I tell everyone we want a healthy baby. I have a sort of strong feeling what I think the baby will be, but I could be wrong and either way it won't matter to me. I just know that I will be counting down the days until the 23rd of November. At least it's less than a month away and time does seem to fly these days.

Update on Andy's mom. Thanks for your concern and prayers. She is doing a little better. She has two cracked ribs and they drained her lungs. They ran tests on the fluid drained and it turns out that the cracked ribs were causing internal bleeding causing the fluid on her lungs. That is all I know at this point. We should know more this weekend. But she did say she was feeling a little better so that is a good thing. I just wish we were there to do more for them.

In the Dark

2005-10-21T06:25:00.000-07:00

Some of you (most probably) are going to think this if funny. But I learned about something great yesterday! Most of you know that I have not had a speaker on my computer here at work for as long as I have been here. I have even been told that the new Dell computer that was ordered for me recently here probably came with speakers or the choice for speakers that I either never received or didn't have the choice for. I have been fine with that because what choice did I have right? Well, a week or two ago I was doing some filing in another office and the girl in that office was listening to music on her laptop. I started talking about how I listen to the radio, but one of the stations I like for some reason doesn't come in in my office, and radio stations are so full of commercials that I almost hate listening to it. I was saying that I bring in CD's, but it is hard to switch them out throughout the day and then remember to put them back in the car, etc.

So yesterday she came walking into my office with something I didn't recognize and presented it to me. I asked her what it was. She said it is a working speaker that she found in the other office. (That has probably been here the whole time that I never knew about.) I asked her where I hook it in at and she did it for me and she showed me how to get stations through Yahoo. Of course Andy told me I can use MSN music too. But anyway, I was in heaven the rest of the day! No commercials, well some, but then there is only one and it is only 30 seconds. I can skip a song that I don't like! I can just switch stations and music styles in a snap! Oh my gosh this is great!!

I told Andy when I picked him up that I feel like I have been living in the dark. I know this concept is nothing new to anyone else, but sometimes I feel so behind! I don't know why Jason never wanted me to have a speaker. It's not like I would sit and listen to anything weird all day. I always had to even borrow someones laptop if I needed to listen to an IRS CD Rom or anything work related. And there was a perfectly good speaker here all along. It just seemed like I was always being told I didn't need a speaker and it didn't seem like that big a deal, but I have a feeling now, not having one would be like having cable then going back to your basic television where you are limited to 5 channels.

Like I said, you all will probably think this is funny, but it is new to me and I am loving it!!

Love Hate & Some Other Stuff

2005-10-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

I have this love hate relationship with the rain. I absolutely love it, but I absolutely hate driving in it. If I could, I would stay home on all rainy days and open the curtains in the house, watch the rain, and cuddle up under a blanket with a good movie or a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. That sounds like a perfect rainy day to me. But it's not like I can really choose to do that. Instead I end up on the 215 with the rain, as Andy would say, pissing down so hard that I feel like I can barely see, and just want to start crying. This morning it wasn't just on the 215 though, the rain was pouring all over the place to where I felt like I could barely see. I get so nervous in the rain and I hate it! Fortunately, I got here ok this morning without breaking down into a big puddle of tears as I have been inclined to do upon occasion lately. I also have hot chocolate here in the office, it has been my vice since I haven't been drinking coffee, so maybe I'll go make myself a cup and dream of where I wish I was.

Andy and I did Protecting God's Children last night at church. There were 23 people signed up for the session and only 7 of us showed up. So needless to say, it was a small session. The good thing was it started on time and ended on time. Who'd have thought, someone from CTK who works on normal time instead of CTK standard time, which to those of you who don't know, means - LATE!!! I did feel a little like the facilitator talked too much at the beginning. I wanted to tell her to stop talking so we could just watch the darn movie already. And I didn't necessarily feel like we needed small group and large group discussions. And there of course were the two people you find in every group - the know it all and the talker - but overall it wasn't that bad. In case you have no idea what I am talking about, the session is all about how to recognize child abuse, mainly in the molestation sense. I didn't fall asleep like I was afraid I was going to, and I know it was an important thing to do. But now that I have been fingerprinted and have been through this session, I think that is everything right? No more hoops just to volunteer my time? :) Just kidding.

Keep Andy's parents in your thoughts today. His mom is in the hospital so they can run some tests and see if they can finally figure out what is wrong with her. And their 31st anniversary is next Wednesday on the 26th and they are supposed to go out of town next week to celebrate, so I hope she feels better by then and they are able to go and have a good time.

That is about it. I am now just trying to figure out when we will have time to get some much needed stuff done around the house. We have to clean out the garage finally, so that we can clean out the closet under the stairs and we have to do it all soon because all of our Christmas decorations are in the closet and the way the closet looks right now, we will never get to them if we don't clean it out. Maybe we can get started on that this weekend. We'll see. I think it is going to take at least a couple weekends of work, and if we don't do it now, it will be the holidays before we know it and we will be scrambling to get it done. I think I will just have to get into "toss" mode, where I pretty much throw away or give to charity everything that I feel I don't need. I always have fun purging though. It's cleansing to me. Besides, before I know it, I always have more crap than I know what to do with again. So it's good to get rid of things every now and then. In my opinion anyway.

I guess that's all folks. As uninteresting as it may be.

Random Rambling

2005-10-11T09:33:00.000-07:00

I decided I would update since the office is quiet and empty at the moment. Sorry I haven't really posted much lately. I guess I have felt like I don't really have anything to say.

The baby is fine. We are now 12 weeks along, which means we are moving out of the first trimeseter - YAY!!! and into month 4. WOOHOO!!! It's still a little strange though because aside from my feeling really sick lately and not really being able to eat, oh yeah, and the fact that I have a little belly on me, I don't really feel different. But the doctor said that would happen. She said that there is a point between the first few months, where the initial symptoms start to subside and the time when you can actually feel the baby move, that you just won't feel pregnant, but it is still weird. Sometimes I get a little nervous because I see the doctor once a month, that I start to think - what if something is wrong with the baby that I don't know about because I can't feel it?! But my mom assured me that feeling is normal and that I would know if there was something wrong. That puts me a little more at ease. So now we are just anxiously awaiting the end of November when we can hopefully find out at that time if we are having a boy or girl. I can't wait to be able to refer to the baby by name!! We are also starting to think a little about the nursery. If you know Andy and I, you know our love for the color blue. We don't think that blue is just a boy color, so we are no matter what going to paint the nursery baby blue and go from there. I asked Andy to put in track lighting in there with a dimmer switch and I think we are going to look for a cute area rug to put in there, but we haven't thought about themes or anything yet, that can wait. We will probably work on picking out furniture first. I think we are going to look for a crib first and then Andy is going to do a rocking chair for me for Christmas. I think he wanted it to be a surprise, but he wants me to pick it out so that I am comfortable. But then he can stain it the same color as the crib, and we also might get a dresser that is unfinished that he can stain himself. If you can't tell, we are just a little excited. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my aunt told my mom that she is going to throw a shower for me, so I sat down and went through the guest list and decided that I will have a friend shower and a family shower, and she can throw the family one of course. Well, I was looking at the calendar and I think I am going to ask her to do it on Saturday, February 25th. That was my grandpa's birthday and I think that would be a great day to have the family shower. I think he would appreciate that. Especially if the baby is a boy because he would be named after my grandpa.

Moving along, Andy started a new position with UPS Teleservices last week. He is now working in the "Work Force" department. He said it is labeled a management position, but there is no management pay, it actually pays just the same as his other position, but I guess there are more possibilites for advancement from this point if that is eventually what he wants. I guess work force does all the scheduling, handle the sick calls, monitor the employees time on the phone, all that fun stuff. The only not fun thing about it is that he works from 6:00 to 3:00, so we have to get up mighty early and leave the house mighty early. But that is ok. Someday we will get a 2nd car, someday soon hopefully, and then only one of us will have to get up early. :)

That is about all that is going on. Baby thoughts pretty much consume us and put us in this little bubble of a world I guess (in case you couldn't tell). And I guess we kinda cut ourselves off from the world. Partly because I am so tired that if I am not trying to make myself eat, I am sleeping, if at all possible, that is, when I'm not working or volunteering for something of course.

On another note, did anyone see the footage of those cops beating the crap out of that guy in New Orleans? I hope those cops don't get off because from what I saw, that guy didn't deserve that brutal beating. I know that cops have it rough there right now too, but I hope they don't try and use that as an excuse because there is no excuse for what they did. Of course I wasn't there and don't know the whole story, but they are trying to say he resisted arrest and assaulted an officer, but if he did those things, which I didn't see in the footage, he was probably only trying to protect himself from them beating him.

And did you hear that the guy that is trying to get the words "one nation under God" out of the pledge is now trying to change the pledge of allegience all together? I won't say anymore on that because I'm sure you know what I think about that.

I guess that is my random rambling done for now, and probably for a while.

Bye!!

Forever Young Lyrics

2005-10-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

I figured since I was talking about them last week, I would post them.

Let's dance in style
let's dance for a while.
Heaven can wait
we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst. -
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever -
We don't have the power but we never say never.
Sitting in a sandpit
life is a short trip
The music's for the sad men.
Can you imagine when this race is won?
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders
we're getting in tune.
The music's played by the madmen.
Forever young
I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever
forever - and ever?
Forever young
I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever
forever young.
Some are like water
some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat.
Sooner or later
they all will be gone. -
Why don't they stay young?
It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse.
Youth's like diamonds in the sun and diamonds are forever.
So many adventures couldn't happen today.
So many songs we forgot to play.
So many dreams swinging out of the blue - we'll let them come true.
Forever young
I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever
forever - and ever?
Forever young
I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever
forever - and ever?
Forever young
I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever?

Forever Young

2005-09-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

I was watiching TV last night and the song at the end of the O.C., yes I like that show, was Forever Young. It wasn't a version I had heard before because I think it was recorded for their mix CD, but anyway, it brough back memories. I love that song! We used to sing that song at the end of the school year, at the last concert of the year, it was always dedicated to the seniors who were of course graduating. All of a sudden I could remember like it was yesterday, crying during that song at my last concert. Then I got to thinking about where I am today and all the things in between. Life has gone by from those days so quickly and I never really realized it before. Not that I want to go back and relive them because I do not whatesoever want to do that.

I guess what also got me thinking was the fact that I am going to have a baby. We had another appointment yesterday and the doctor did an ultrasound (no pictures for us to take with unfortunately) and the baby's heartbeat is still strong and steady and we could see it's hands and legs. We could see that it has gotten bigger in the last few weeks. And it still continues to amaze me. So here I am, 25, listening to a song that I don't even think I have heard since high school, married, a wonderful house, a great job, and a baby on the way, with my 10 year reunion just around the corner in about 2 years really. I just am just amazed at how fast the time has gone, and though sometimes I feel that I haven't accomplished much, I have grown a lot and when I start to think about all the events that have happened since those high school days, I really have accomplished quite a bit, and I have a lot more to accomplish as time goes on. But I suppose as long as the past times are so clear in my memory, I will be Forever Young.

Did I mention that I love that song?! :)

Now, I just want to rant for a minute about something I heard on the radio yesterday. They were talking about something called a Push Present. I guess it is a gift from husband to wife (or baby daddy to baby momma) after the baby is born. A, thanks for having my baby, gift. Some women I guess get expensive jewlery and stuff like that. But I haven't heard of this. Andy was looking at me trying to figure out my thoughts on the subject, and he is lucky that I don't think like a lot of other women. I told him I really don't get it because it isn't like the guy is sitting around slacking for nine (ten) months. If he does, then maybe you should get a gift, but so far anyway, Andy has taken on a lot of household responsibilities that he doesn't want me to do because he doesn't want me to overexert myself. Also, it's not like I am going to be the one to go out to get food or things I want or need to satisfy my cravings and things like that. Not to mention, that Andy worries so much about my health and the baby constantly. So it's not like he isn't doing anything, and it's not like I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I got pregnant with his baby. I just think maybe it's a little selfish. I suppose the gift is understandable, but I think I would be more upset with him if he bought me something expensive. If he does want to get me something, I would settle for inexpensive flowers and a kiss.

Last but most certainly not least - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DON!!!! I hope you have a great day and a great new year ahead! :)

Ok, I guess I am done for now. Back to work!

Just a Few Things

2005-09-20T12:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I would just share a few rambling thoughts with you today.

I heard on the radio that Oprah announced on her show yesterday that she will be donating $10 million to the victims of Hurricane Katrina and while I applaud her for that, I just have to wonder, why did she have to announce it? It almost seems as though she's not doing it out of the kindness of her heart as much as for the pat on the back. It just seems to me that if it was something she just felt compelled to do, she would just do it and not let people know. It would more than likely slip out anyway right?

So, do you remember when Christian Slater got arrested for pinching some woman's butt? Well, I read today that the judge threw out the charges. I don't think he should go around pinching butts, but at the same time, I think the charges were absolutely ridiculous! What was wrong with that woman that she had him arrested? Another ploy to get money or something? So, I'm glad that the judge was sensible about it. Insane I tell ya!

That is all my stupid celebrity nonsense. I signed up to get weekly updates on the status of the baby. It's an online calendar so you know kinda what is going on a your current week. So I found out that by 9 weeks, the baby is about the size of a grape now. I have also learned that the baby is officially a fetus when it starts developing adult characteristics and that is usually by week 8. So because you can see my baby's face in the ultrasound pictures, you could see my little fetus. :) I think it's all soooo fascinating.

My sister is still going through a hard time right now. I talked to her last night and again today. My parent's are on vacation and asked me to check in on her while they are gone and so I have been, but Kim said I don't need to check up on her. I said I was just calling because she doesn't call me. Besides, usually when I get to talk to Kim, I get to talk to Briana. My mom called from California last night to ask us a question and she mentioned that Kim already called her about her current issues. So apparently I do need to check on her because she shouldn't be calling my parent's while they are gone. It shouldn't have even crossed her mind to call them, but then again she sometimes doesn't think. I feel bad for her, but then when she does something like that I can't help but get a little irritated.

Anyway, I guess I'd better go finish my lunch and get back to work. Bye for now!!

What To Do...

2005-09-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

First of all let me give a timeline of events. I went to the doctor on August 9th, where I was told I wasn't pregnant. Exactly one week later on August 16th, I purchased our tickets for England. Exactly one week after that on August 23rd, I went back to the doctor and was told I was pregnant. If only I had waited to buy our airline tickets! That's what I get for being ahead of the game.

Nothing has really happened yet about the tickets, but I did call the airline and of course they said the tickets were noin-refundable, but we can change the date and pay any additional amounts as long as we travel before August 2006. I called the company that we bought the trip insurance through and they emailed me some claim forms for us to fill out and for our doctor to fill out, but we have to cancel the tickets in order to file the claim and there is no guarantee we will get our money back. So I don't know whether to just see about changing the tickets, though if we do, we will have to pay who knows how much more because we will have to travel in the tourist season and then add another seat of course for the baby. But if we cancel there is a chance we'll be out $1500. Anyone know if they let you change the names of passengers? Because the other thing I was thinking we could see if we can do, is see about changing the tickets to where Andy's parent's could come here next summer instead of us going there.

So as you can probably tell, I'm just not sure what to do, but I know that I will eventually figure it out. I have to right?

I Know It's Been A While

2005-09-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a long time since the last time that I posted, but I guess I have just felt like I really don't have anything to say. I still don't really, but I thought I would update anyway.

I have been trying to keep up on the daily scripture readings the last couple of months and on Friday I usually read the ones for the weekend too. Well, I was reading the ones for Sunday and of course the 1st reading is the Seek the Lord reading, which we we are singing that song on Sunday for just this reason, however, I don't understand why we had to change the words of the song to make them all inclusive when the scripture reading says exactly the thing they don't want us to sing. The scripture readings aren't being changed to be all inclusive, so I don't understand why our songs must be. That just really doesn't make sense and I think it is something that really should be addressed.

So, we all know Britney Spears had her baby. Well, I don't like Britney and Kevin, but the thing is, I feel bad for Baby Spears Federline. It almost seems that the baby is being attacked for being born to those two. Of course we all know that a children don't choose their parents, and who knows, just because the world thinks Britney and Kevin are idiots doesn't mean they won't love and care for their baby. Or that the baby won't be raised well. I guess I just think it's one thing to make fun of them, but the baby is totally innocent and I think the media should leave him alone.

I have been doing pretty well being pregnant which is a good thing, but it is really hard not to sleep when I want to sleep, but that's ok. I hear it gets better months 4-6. I have also recently decided that I can't stand the site of chicken or the thought of eating it. Go figure! We were told at our last doctor appointment that with my insurance the only hospital I can give birth at is Spring Valley. I hear that is a nice one though since it is so new. So that's not bad. I think all the talk that day though about insurance and medical bills, etc...overwhelmed me a little. I had a really anxious dream that night and I think that is the reason. We were given so many things to read and a timeline of our doctor visits. Our next ultrasound won't be until the 18-20 week time frame and that is around the time we should be able to find out what the baby will be. We are very excited for that. We are just excited in general though. There are just so many mixed emotions about this because it is such a big change. I mean, of course excitement wins out hands down, but there are also many feelings of fear, different types of fear, anxiety and being overwhelmed by it all. Like I said though, excitement wins hands down.

I guess that is me done for now. I'll get back to work. Talk to ya'll later!

Looting

2005-09-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

I will never understand people. In the midst of something so devastating, why make things worse? The hurricane caused so much heartbreak and damage and still people feel like the need to go into stores and steal shoes, clothes, even TV's! What are they going to do with the TV?!?! It makes no sense!! Along with so many people being armed and shooting and what not! I don't get it. You would just think something so terrible and devastating just happened to your home, your family, your friends, your city, and all you can think about stealing stuff and shooting at others?! I just wish people would finally stop and think!

I can't help but wonder, all these terrible natural disasters so close together, is God mad? Is he trying to tell us something? And if he is, looting and rioting isn't going to make him any happier.

And it's so weird to think, that New Orleans, a place that has been a tourist attraction. A city that you know about even if you have never been there. Is destroyed and uninhabitable for months. It's also weird to think that it is the home to a friend's faimly. What will they do next? Was everything of theirs destroyed? Where will they go? I know it didn't happen to me, but the fact that it is a friend brings it that much closer to home.

I also can't help but wonder if some of the deaths could have been avoided if people had evacuated like instructed instead of trying to wait out the storm in their home, thinking it would just pass? And how many people saw death coming and wondered the same thing. Wondered if they only listened, would they have seen tomorrow.

It's all so awful and I just don't understand people causing more unnecessary heartache and devastation on top of what Mother Nature decided to inflict.

Thoughts

2005-08-31T07:46:00.000-07:00

There hasn't been a whole lot going on lately. I won't get into last weekend because we are already so close to the next weekend. WOOHOO!! A three day weekend, I am excited!

So, many of you have probably been around a pregnant woman before, and heard them say how tired they are. Right? Well, I can see some of you maybe rolling your eyes already at the fact that I am mentioning it. I have never disbelieved a pregnant woman who said she was tired, but I never fully understood until now. Some people might laugh it off and get irritated with the pregnant woman, thinking that she is making it up for attention or making it up so she can rest more and have a good excuse to do so. Well, if that is the way you think, then shame on you! If you think that way and you're a man - then, oh well, you will never truly understand anyway, but if you think that way and you are a woman, then you have a big surprise coming to you when you get pregnant and then don't expect people to feel sorry for you! I just have never felt so run down in my life. I'll get to a point, or points, in the day when I just feel like I can't keep my eyes open. And of course people say to rest up now before the baby comes, but for some, that is impossible between work and other commitments. Sometimes I just feel so glad to be able to get into bed and turn out the light at 9:00pm. If I could take a nap everyday too, I would. It just seems like tired doesn't describe it enough. It's pure exhaustion! And also, despite what some might think, it doesn't matter how pregnant you are. Your body is going through a lot of changes especially in the beginning.

Andy and I have been trying to go for walks in the evenings, even if it is just around the block. It's nice spending time together that isn't in front of the TV or in the car going somewhere. Even if we really don't have anything to say, it's nice just spending the time with him. And hopefully we can keep up with the walking even when it gets cold because it's good for all of us. I have always said I wanted to get out and walk more anyway. I miss the times when I used to walk everywhere. It's funny though how your thoughts change because last night while walking we went a little farther then around the block, and we made sure to use the crosswalks at the 4 way stops in our area and the way people came through those stops was unbelievable. Seeing the way people ploughed through the stop signs made it kinda scary to think about walking a baby in a stroller in the area because it seemed like no one had any regard for pedestrians. It's just funny because the things you think about change. You no longer think about yourself so much anymore.

Andy is really cute because he is very protective of me now. He always was, but even more so now. Sometimes it is a little frustrating because he tries to tell me what to do kinda, but I know he means well. There are a lot of rules and sometimes I have to be reminded to drink more water, or eat a little better, or slow down and take it easy. And I am glad that I have so many family and friends around who care about me and want to make sure that everything is well with me and the baby. I have a lot of people taking care of me and for that I am blessed.

Just an Update

2005-08-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

Well, there isn't too much going on in my world right now. The weekend wasn't too busy. I spent Friday night with my sister, mom and niece, and Andy spent the evening with my dad and nephew. Kinda a girls and boys night type thing. It was fun. Except for arguing with my sister the backseat driver who has to tell you how to get everywhere instead of just sitting back letting you get there on your own. Kim is funny though. You wine lovers out there should love this one. She likes to have a little wine before bed to help her unwind and to help her sleep. When you hear this you think - a glass of wine right? Not my sister. :) She takes a "shot" of wine in her glass of juice before bed and it makes her sleep like a baby. Isn't that funny? It only takes her about 2 sips of alcohol to get tipsy.

Saturday Andy had to take the car to get the brakes worked on and get the oil changed. Next time though we will go to Just Brakes or something because about $200 of our $300 bill in the end was for labor. Dealerships rip you off so bad!!

Then Andy and I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and we loved it!! We thought it was so much better than the original. We were never crazy about the kid who played Charlie in the original, but this kid was great!! And we thought Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was extrememly funny! We just thought it was an excellent movie. It was definitely Tim Burton weird, but it was great!

Sunday we just cleaned up around the house and it was to church as usual. So, like I said, not too much going on. This coming weekend is going to be a busy one though. :)

I talked to my sister yesterday and she said they have finally agreed on the terms of their divorce. WOOHOO!! She said they just have yet to finalize and sign the papers, but that her lawyer is having a hard time getting in touch with his lawyer. At least when the divorce is final though, even though he will be around forever, being the kids dad and all, at least all the paperwork and official stuff will be done and she will be free to move on. She said she needs to find herself again. I agreed with her. She said that she doesn't know how to find herself though when she is always taking care of the kids. I told her that finding yourself at 18 is different than at 25 because there are different things to learn, such as how much she can handle as a person, kids, job, keeping house, etc...things she is already learning. She just has a long way to go, but then again, we all do right?

Liam asked Andy to be a groomsman over the weekend. I knew he would eventually. I'm glad that he did sooner than later though. Now Andy and I need to go on a diet before the wedding. We have about 8 months I think. If we start now we should be in good shape by then. The hard part is getting started. Kirsty said she was going to look for her dress and the bridesmaid dresses this week or next so I might find out soon what I will be wearing. And I'm thinking that maybe the best way to handle the whole dress thing from so far away is to have them buy it over there and ship it here and I will just have it altered here. I just wish I were closer to help more. I wish I had the fun of going shopping with her and their mom to help her find a dress and help with invitations and favors and all that fun stuff. I'm going to try and figure out something crafty I can do from this end though.

You all are probably sick of my talking about this wedding already and it's not until April! Sorry! Sometimes I get so caught up in my thoughts as I am typing so my post just ends up being sort of random thoughts. Or random ramblings. :)

It's Official

2005-08-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

Well, our trip to England for next year is now official. We purchased our tickets a couple of days ago. We will be leaving here on April 13th, and we get there on the 14th and then we return home on the 29th. After my terrible flight experience going back in February (I was sick as a dog), I am not looking forward to the flight, but hopefully this time will be better. It is a direct flight over and then we have a stop in Chicago on the way back. I don't care about a layover coming home, it's getting there that is the most important thing.

In case you don't know why we are going, Andy's sister is getting married on April 21st. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid and I hope Andy gets asked to be one of the groomsmen, but I know you guys leave things like that until the last minute. I am anxiously waiting to find out what style Kirsty chooses for the bridesmaid dresses. I already know the color is going to be emerald green. I am also a little nervous just because I am all the way over here of course fittings can be a little harder that way don't you think? I'm sure it will all turn out fine though.

I was a little surprised when Kirsty asked me to be in the wedding, but it makes me feel good because you know with weddings, it's the kinda thing of course where you choose people that you expect to have in your life forever (hopefully anyway), so to me at least this means that his family does accept me and that they know I'm not going anywhere. It just makes me feel like I really am part of the family now.

We are looking forward to the trip though. Especially because unfortunately, since there is going to be a wedding and everything, that means that his family can't come out for Christmas this year, which means it will be the second year in a row that we won't see them for the holiday and that is sad. But these darn trips are expensive so there isn't much you can do about when you can or can't come or go ya know?! I'm still holding onto the hope though that at the last minute we will get a call that they will be coming for Christmas. Sometimes his mother works wonders, so with her you just never know what she will work out.

I am looking forward to going in April though because I have never been there at that time. Hopefully it's a little warmer then. I am also looking forward to finally meeting most of Andy's family. He has a large extended family, but they don't keep in touch much and of course no one came to our wedding. I always said that Kirsty's wedding would probably be the first time I would meet a lot of the family. It should be interesting that is for sure. Because of course I have heard some stories over the years. I have met a few people over time, but not many.

Next, I have to figure out the perfect wedding gift for Kirsty and Liam. She got us beautiful crystal wine goblets with the claddaugh symbol on them, so we want to get her something equally as meaningful and beautiful. But first comes picking out the Christmas gifts of course. It seems like you just can't ever get away from having to buy a gift for something. Not that I mind of course, it just seems like there is always something.

Anyway, I guess that is my rambling done for the time being.

Pledge of Allegiance

2005-08-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

I am about to get on my soap box - watch out! Another person has filed a lawsuit to take out the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance that his children recite every morning at school. And he has lost, might I add. WOOHOO!! HE LOST!!! I am not opposed to be people having an opinion, but would you people get off the Pledge already?! Give me a break! Do you have nothing better to do?

First of all, I think that if someone is against the Pledge, then they surely are against the money we use right? Our money says the same thing. Are they going to stop spending it or move to another country? I didn't think so! Or will that be the next lawsuit?

Secondly, these parents are trying to say that that part of the Pledge is the only part their child understands. If they are so against God, then why do their kids understand it in the first place? What are they being taught at home? And since the Pledge has surely been said since these parents were in school and they said it at that time and still grew to have their own beliefs of atheism, or the Anabaptist Mennonite faith (whatever that is), etc...then surely their children can grow up and form their own opinion just the same right?

Thirdly, I don't understand why these people think that they have to change everything just because they don't like it and it doesn't work for them? Why should the words "under God" be taken out just because they don't want their children to hear it or say it? What about the people who DO want their kids to hear it and say it? I for one most certainly think this is one nation under God.

I think these people really need to get over themselves and start focusing on the things that really matter in their life. They should re-evaluate their priorities. I think they should stop and think - Is taking the words "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance really going to make a difference in my or my child's life? Will this support my beliefs (or lack there of) at all? Will I sleep better knowing that my child doesn't have to hear these words once a day? Will they be a better person for not having to say these words once a day?

I say, teach your kids what you want them to know at home if it bothers you that much. And one last question. In 20 years, which do you think your children will have a better recollection of, saying the Pledge including the words "under God" once a day throughout their school career or their parent making a spectacle out of them for having to recite the words "under God" once a day?

That is my ranting for today.

A Few Things

2005-08-10T09:15:00.000-07:00

Andy and I almost got into a terrible accident this morning on the way to work, but this one wasn't my fault. I'm sure we are all aware of that terrible spot on the 215 Eastbound between Decatur and Sunset where cars are coming on to the freeway right? Well, some idiot decided to come cut off a truck in the 4th lane to the right, we were in the 3rd lane to the right, and he decided not to look and just to go directly into the 3rd lane nearly hitting us. Fortunately there was no one in the lane next to me so I could swerve to avoid him. I honked and thought that he swerved back into his lane, but nooooo, he decided that he was right and could continue to get into the lane, nearly hitting us again. We honked even longer this time. The thing that got me though is that we could see him screaming obscenities at us, as if we were to blame. Can you believe that?! People are nuts! That was surely a rude awakening at 6:30 in the morning on a peaceful drive into work.

A word to women out there, I think the pill really messes up your system if you are on it for a while. I would be careful if I were you. I don't really have any evidence to back this up, but I think it is the reason for some recent issues I have had as well as some other people I know who also went through or are going through something similar. Just my opinion though.

Have you ever noticed all the people out there saying that people are too young to get married if they are 19, 20, 22, I think I have heard it go up to at least 25? I think this is so ridiculous. First of all, who is to say what age a person should be when they get married? And who is to say that it won't work because someone got married young? If anything, I think it makes so much more sense. I think it may be easier to grow together if you get married young. As opposed to people who have lived on their own for a long time and are set each in their own ways and have a harder time compromising and end up farther apart because they want to change the other person to fit the mold they have made for themselves. I am so happy to be married and to have met Andy when I was 19. I am so happy to actually be able to spend my life with my lifelong partner. I feel bad for all these 30 somethings still on the club scene still searching for love afraid they will never find it. Sometimes women especially because some of them spend so much time focusing on their career before marriage or thinking that they have so much time before they have to get married or have kids, but then they turn around one day and go - I have to get married and have kids before it's too late! And you always end up hearing - I'm not getting any younger. Well, duh! I think it is all about maturity levels too. Some people are so much more mature at 19 than someone who is 30. I just think for people to say - "they are too young to get married" - is such a misstatement and that people should think before they speak.

Those are my rantings. Thanks for reading. You may now carry on with your day. :)

Time For An Update

2005-08-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

There really isn't much to report. But I thought I would check in because it has been a while since my last post. There hasn't been too much going on. On an unfortunate side, my sister's car has broken down and she doesn't have the money to fix it, and neither do the rest of us. So I'm not sure what she is going to do now. She had to take Tyler to the doctor again today because his asthma had been acting up this weekend, and the doctor told her that his asthma is probably permanent and not pediatric. So he might not grow out of it. He also has excema which is caused by the asthma and both are brought on by an allergy to something that they don't really know what yet. So the poor little guy in his 8 months of life has been through a lot. Both he and Briana (3) have been through a lot. I am going to hang on to the hope and prayer that Tyler will grow out of it though, no matter what the doctor says.

My brother and his wife came to the concert on Saturday night. I was glad to see them. I'll be honest, I was a little more glad to see Brandy because I knew that Kevin probably didn't want to be there. But Brandy said that she got a lot of the points that Jesse was putting out there and that she had a good time. So I was glad to hear that.

I have decided that it is time for me to send Andy's mom a care package. She sends us care packages all the time, I thought it was her turn. I went and got her some fo the Freesia stuff she likes from Bath and Body Works and a Gardenia lotion to see if she likes that one also. I think she will. I also got her some caramel filled Hershey Kisses because I know she likes those. I packaged it all up tonight and wrote a little note and put it inside. I was going to send it from Andy and I, but I decided that it was from me. It was something that I wanted to do for her to let her know I appreciate and love her and have been thinking about her. I hope she likes it all. And I hope Andy's dod doesn't wonder where his is.

Andy and I are now working on trying to figure out our flight over for Kirsty's wedding in April. I think we are going to try and go April 13th - April 29th. The bachelor and bachelorette parties are on either the 13th or 14th, so we'll probably miss those. They actually call them the Hen and the Stag nights. The wedding is on April 21st and Kirsty has asked me to be a bridesmaid. I can't wait to see what type of dresses she picks for us. I think it would be nice if she just had us all wear the same color, but could pick our own dress, but I don't know yet, we'll see. Emerald green is the color.

I think that is it. Like I said, nothing really going on here. Hope everyone is well out there! Bye for now!

Finished

2005-07-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

I finally finished Harry Potter last night. OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Captain - I can't believe you weren't actually lying!

I can't even begin to imagine how she is going to play things out in the next and last book. I am even a bit disappointed that there is only 1 book left, but at the same time - I don't know how much more I can take!!

I find it amazing how one series of books appeals to so many people with different reading interests. For example, Andy and I don't like the same genre of books. We usually can't share books at all. I also think it's amazing that - even though J.K. Rowling knows whenever she brings out a new book it is going to sell well and she will make tons of money, she still writes like she doesn't care. She still writes with so much imagination. You can tell she is all about the quality of the each novel. A lot of people know that I read the Left Behind series, but after a while you could tell that the authors were just drawing the novels out for as long as possible to make more money off of each book. They probably could have gotten the whole thing done in 7 as opposed to 12 or 13.

I can't help but get myself so immersed in her characters too. I'm not one to re-read books either. I usually think that once I know what is going to happen then I feel there is no point in going back and starting again, but I think this will be a series I will continue to read. I read them all again before this book and will probably do so again before the next one. And I don't think any movie they could make will come close to what the book brings to your imagination.

I also don't know that I would let my children read these books. I know they started out as children's books, but I don't think they are for kids at all! I think these are more for young adult to adult.

Anyway, that is my two cents on the whole thing for now. It's going to be a long wait for the next one that's for sure!

Disguise

2005-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

She opens her eyes
And creates her disguise
Determined not to fumble
Yet somehow she has stumbled
She's rolling over uneven ground
In her disguise she is lost
Will she ever be found?
She has made her way clear
Did the best she could
But in her thoughts
You can hear her fear
Where did she go wrong
She can't understand
Took up the world
In her own two hands
She must be stong
And not let her guard down
But under the happy
Is the saddest frown
She knows she is loved dearly
And that they would someday grow
And leave the nest clearly
But who was to know
Their wings would take them so far away
Where she has to make plans
To see them someday
But you will always see her smile
Through the deepest of pain
Because the hope always lingers
That her good deeds will be rewarded
And her babies will come home again.

Flip Flops

2005-07-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Apparently abortion isn't as controversial a topic as I thought since there wasn't much of a response to it, or it was and that is why people didn't comment.

Anyway, have you heard all this stuff about that girls Lacrosse team going to meet President Bush and a bunch of them wore flip flops? I guess this is a big controversial issue right now because a lot of people think they shouldn't have worn flip flops. It's like a big scandal. That is the word everyone is using - scandal. You would think that out of everything that goes on in the White House, girls wearing flip flops to meet the President is probably the least scandalous thing going on.

I guess everyone thinks that it was disrepectful for the girls to wear them. The girls themselves made a good point though, another team that was also there to meet the president wore white Polo shirts, khaki shorts and sneakers, but no one is attacking them. The girls who wore flips flops wore sundresses and skirts, nice tops, etc...They also thought their flip flops were nice, not just ratty beach ones. There is a difference. Now, I probably wouldn't have worn flip flops if it was me, but I agree with the girls that it's no big deal. I don't know that I would even come down on the other team that wore shorts and sneakers. After all, these were all athletic teams invited to the White House by President Bush. I say let it go! Bush didn't seem to care. You haven't heard a complaint from him have you? Just the media and even some of the girls families making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Someone on the radio this morning started debating the whole - you wouldn't wear flip flops to church out of respect for God would you? - thing. I guess that person doesn't go to CTK. Actually I think it was Mark who said it, and probably just to rile people up. Someone then called in and said to him that flip flops are like Jesus' sandals and it doesn't matter what you look like in church as long as you are there. I'm not always the best dressed person at church, but then I started to wonder why people think it's disrespectful to wear flip flops to meet the ruler of the United States, but they think it's ok to go into God's house, supreme rule over all, and meet him dressed like a bum? I don't get that logic. If it were up to a certain someone I know, girls would all be wearing skirts and dresses with nylons and heels, guys in slacks and at least a button down shirt, to church every Sunday. Isn't that right Certain Someone? You know who you are. :)

I just think the whole thing is ridiculous and I can't believe it is national debatable news!

WARNING - CONTROVERSIAL ISSUE ADDRESSED

2005-07-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well, if you read my post from last night, here is my issue. I was reading an article on MSN yesterday about a guy who is going to serve a life sentence in prison for 4 bombings he did, 2 of which were to abortion clinics. In one of the bombings, an off duty police officer was killed and a woman who worked at the clinic was badly hurt. Now before I get any further, I am not condoning his actions because I do think he is an extremist nut job. Understandably, the woman that was injured is very angry with this guy. She wants him to have the death penalty. I don't know how the off duty police officer died, and I do think the bomber should pay for what he has done. But my thing is, this woman working for the abortion clinic (she can't officially work, but does continue to do work for abortion clinics) is calling the bomber all kinds of names, Monster is the one that comes to mind, but I can't help but think that is the pot calling the kettle black. She goes to work everyday to help women kill their babies and has done so for who knows how long.

I don't agree with abortion. I do believe that a baby is a living thing no matter what stage your pregnancy is in. If you are pregnant, you are going to have a baby. It is a human being in your body. And I feel like this woman should be looking in the mirror or at her co-workers if she feels she needs to start calling someone a monster. Like I said, I am not condoning his actions, but I can't condone hers either.

I have been friends in the past with two people who'd had abortions and they were still my friends. So, please don't misunderstand me, I am not judging anyone. Judgement is not mine to make as it is handed down by a higher power. As I hope that you won't judge me for feeling as I do. And - I do agree that people have the right to choose. That I have the right to choose not to agree with abortion, as you have the right to choose to disagree with me.

Weekend! What Weekend?

2005-07-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

It seems that the last two days, normally called a weekend, flew by and I didn't get a chance to visit with them. Oh well! Not the first time. Our house is all clean though and that is good. And I was very proud to show it off to people when they came over on Sunday night and that is good.

We spent all Saturday cleaning, and then went to visit one of my best friends and see their new baby - HE IS SO FRIGGIN CUTE!!!! He was born last Wednesday afternoon, the 13th, weighing in at 7 lbs, 15 oz, and 20 inches. He was so tiny! Congratulations M&M!!! We love you!! Then we hung out at Des and Don's and got to relax for a bit, which was nice. Andy must have been relaxed because he got a little inebriated. Got rid of a lot of that beer for ya though. :) Then Sunday rolled around and it was time to set up for the baptism reception we were having after church, oh, that was after grocery shopping, on to church to celebrate our nephew and home for the party. Which I found out today that my sister and my mom took the day off work because they knew the party would be late. Someone forgot to send me that memo, as I walked zombie like through the day. Not really. It was a fun party.

I know that you all know this, and I am coming to realize it, but Kim asked if she could have the reception at our house in case the Clampett's showed up, well they didn't, but anyway, me wanting to make sure things went well, I of course took over the role of hostess and did absolutely everything. I was so tired when I went to bed, and as I closed my eyes it hit me that Kim didn't do anything. The control freak in me thinks that is fine because she wouldn't have cleaned up the way I do and put he food away the way I do, but it wasn't supposed to be my party. Anything for those kids though.

The Clampett's did show up to the church though for the baptism, and brought Psycho D with them. Ughh!! And I was wondering - if you are never around for your child and then stand up in front of the church promising to raise them in a Catholic Christian community and life, but don't follow that yourself (*cough* *cough* white pride tattoos on arms *cough* *cough*) are you condemning yourself to the fiery pits below right then and there? He played the part of proud daddy very well, but where has proud daddy been for over 8 months? My mom made me feel bad because I told her that I wanted to take Tyler from him and she said that at least he made the effort and maybe this will be a turning point for him, we just have to have faith. Sometimes I hate when she is right! Then I feel like such an awful person for all those bad negative feelings. I guess he might just end up being around forever and I should just make myself indifferent to it. I'll work on having the faith.

Anyway, that was the weekend. When the alarm went off this morning, I thought - This has to be a joke because it can't be right! But of course it was right.

A couple of side notes - I'm glad you guys could make it last night. I'm sure Briana was glad too. You were right, Amy was being mean to her and I don't know why I called her a brat, she isn't a brat. I was tired and just said something that I didn't mean. She shouldn't have been treated that way and her mother should have stepped in and said so. Now I feel really bad for her. The fruit dip is a jar of the marshmallow creme and half a block of the cream cheese and you just keep mixing until it is smooth. My sister-in-law did say that it is hard to get it started because the marshmallow is so sticky, but it tastes soooooo good!

I have something really serious that I would like to discuss, but it is one of those controversial topics and I don't want to offend anyone. Though, Des' story about the horse humper was a bit out there. :) Maybe another time. I'll just say that the topic has to do with abortion. I'm sure you all know my stance there, let me know if you think it is safe to venture out there with this one.

That is it for me now. Andy is getting sick of listening to the keys tapping. He wants a quiet keys keyboard, but with one of those, how would I know when he is on when he isn't supposed to be? :)

What is Scientology?

2005-07-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

Can someone enlighten me please? Not that I am thinking of converting, but I just want to know what Scientology is. I always knew that some famous people were Scientologists, but I never thought much about it until it has been plastered all over things lately because of Tom Cruise. I tried to look it up online, but that didn't help. I want to know what their basic belief system is. Andy said it is all about Darwinism, evolution, but then how does the whole not believing that there is such a thing as a chemical imbalance and that it needs to be treated with drugs, fit into that? Andy didn't know. I have asked a few people what it is, and no one has really been able to tell me.

This is what the Scientology website says it is:

The aims of Scientology are a world without insanity, without criminals, without war, where the able can prosper and where Man is free to rise to greater heights.

And if you were to ask any Scientologist they would tell you it is a practical religion, with practical answers — tools that can be applied to achieve greater awareness and purpose in the here and now.

Or, as we say it, when you have the answers to life's questions — there is virtually no part of existence it cannot be applied to for the betterment of life itself.

What people need are real solutions, real tools to deal with and effectively overcome human problems.

Every one of us has experienced it.

Think back yourself and you'll remember when you tried to help a grieving loved one, a struggling child, a friend overcome by addiction.

And where you have failed, it's only because you lacked effective answers to accomplish what you desired.

I don't know about you, but that didn't help me at all. How can you be human and not want some or all of the things mentioned above? And why would believing in the things mentioned above, make you a Scientologist and not a Christian or a Catholic or a Mormon, etc... And, are Scientologists, Christians? Are they Athiest?

How does someone one day just decide that they want to make up a religion? Isn't that what Henry VIII did just to suit his marital whims because the church wouldn't allow it? Is it because people want to believe in something, but not what is in front of them so they make up something else? Is that what the other religions think we (Catholic) did?

I'm not judging other religions, I just want to try and understand. I know a little about some other religions, but I don't know anything about Scientology. I am also curious as to, if someone is Athiest, or believes only in the theory of Evolution and not in Creation, where they think everything came from in the first place to cause evolution to be. I know that I have my opinions and you have yours. But please share them with me because I am curious. I will not judge anyone based on their opinion as I would hope that no one would judge me based on mine. I am simply curious.

How Sweet

2005-07-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

When I met Andy, he had never held a baby before and didn't have much experience with litte little kids, but now because of our neice and nephew that has all changed. Poor Tyler is sick again and we went over to my parent's house last night to see if they needed any help with anything. Briana was sooo excited that Uncle Andy was there. Well, she was excited that Aunt Lisa was there too, but mostly Uncle Andy. He played with her and read to her. She had to have his chair directly next to and touching hers when eating dinner. She is totally enamoured with him. She clings to him every time he is around. It is the sweetest thing to see. He is so patient and loving with her. I just love watching them together. He is terrific with Tyler too of course. Just watching him with the kids is one of the most amazing things to see. I think he is going to be a wonderful father someday and I look forward to that.

On another note, Briana, out of the blue last night was lying down and she just put her little hands together and started praying. She prayed for a few people and then prayed for God to take care of Tyler and make him not sick anymore. It was such a beautiful thing to witness.

2005-07-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

In participation
We have received
Love poured out
In us He believed
Through celebration
We are given life
In the presentation
We are reminded of His strife
By Him our life was spared
Through each other
His life we share
We are made one
Through the body and blood
Of God's son
Each day we breathe
The breath He gave
In His dying
Our lives were saved
As we close our eyes in prayer
We are reminded
Of His love and care
Near Him
We will always be
And through His sacrifice
We can clearly see
The gift He gave us
On Calvary
His presence
Cannot be missed
So we join in celebration
Of the Eucharist

*****************************

I was going through something recently and came across this poem. I wrote it a long time ago when I was in England. It was September of 1999 and were in training for missions. At this point we were going through a course on the Eucharist with a priest and he gave us a project to have done in about an hour. We could do anything we wanted as long as it was related to communion. Well, you know me, I decided to write a poem. I have always liked it and I thought a few of you out there might like it too.

This Is Your Life

2005-07-06T07:36:00.000-07:00

By Switchfoot

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
And today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
This is your life
Is it everything you’ve dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger
and you had everything to lose?

yesterday is a kid in the corner
yesterday is dead and over

this is your life
are you who you want to be?
this is your life
are you who you want to be?
this is your life
is everything you’ve dreamed that it would be
when the world was younger
and you had everything to lose?

don’t close your eyes
don’t close your eyes
don't close your eyes
don't close your eyes
this is your life are you who you want to be?
this is your life are you who you want to be?
this is your life are you who you want to be?
this is your life are you who you want to be?
this is your life is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?

***Okay, so it seems kinda repetative reading the lyrics this way, but you should listen to it if you get a chance because it is a great song!

Holiday Weekend

2005-07-05T12:22:00.000-07:00

I guess people don't need me to go into great detail about the weekend. Some people know every detail alreayd anyway. Saturday night we were givin the opportunity to go to the Las Vegas Centennial Concert with Weezer and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We had a great time! It was an awesome concert!! Sunday we had a wedding reception that left a lot to be desired, then spent the night babysitting my neice. It was unexpected, but Andy and I had a lot of fun with her. Then Monday, Andy was a lazy butt at home, didn't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I went to Don and Des's house and hung out for a few hours. Then we just ordered pizza and went to bed at a decent time with earplugs in so we didn't have to listen to the fireworks outside. We aren't big 4th of July party people. That will probably change someday when we have kids, but for now we are fine the way it is. So nothing too exciting. It just felt busy.

On a very happy side note - I found out last night that one of my best friends will probably have her baby this week. She said that they will probably be inducing her in the next few days. I'm so excited for them!!

I hope you all out there had a happy and safe holiday!!

Computer Dimwit

2005-07-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Okay. Computer Dimwit, that's me. I have given myself a new nickname. I have not been doing well with my computer since yesterday. Well, I haven't been doing well with my work computers for a long time. They have all been old and ready for retirement anyway, before I even got to them, but I have gone through a couple. And I was recently having issues with the current one and Andy checked it out and said that there just isn't enough memory on it for me to run all my usual programs such as Outlook and Quickbooks.

Then yesterday I got an email from info@franklingriffith.com that said my email was suspended for security reasons and to open the zip file for details. So I opened the zip file and there was nothing there, so I forwarded the email to my boss, Jason because everything seemed to be working fine. (Some of you probably know where this is going.) A few minutes later, he came to my office and told me to close my email because I downloaded a virus. How was I supposed to know?! He made fun of me all day!!! The computer took ages to scan. He asked me "haven't you ever been told not to open emails from unrecognized senders?" Something to that effect anyway. I told him yes, but I didn't realize this wasn't an address of ours. We used to have an info@cfo...address, onw of our Quickbooks default addresses when emailing an invoice or statement to a client is info@frnaklingriffith.com, and he has said before that he was going to have one setup for Franklin Griffith, how was I supposed to know he didn't. I thought maybe it was a default email address.

Then after the virus scan was done, it found 96 threatening files. So he made fun of me asking what websites I go to. I told him that the popup blocker he has on my computer only blocks the popups I actually need to see, but I still get stupid net offers all day.

Now I'm not allowed to open my email and he said I could have infected the network. This is not my fault. Andy said it's not my fault. What do you think Captain? I think Jason makes fun of me because he knows it gets to me. I know it's all in fun, but it does kinda hurt my feelings and make me feel stupid.

Then he turned off a power switch last night that I didn't even know existed so I was freaking out this morning thinking that I really screwed up the computer because it wouldn't even turn on. I didn't find out about the power thing until after I was here for an hour. I asked him if he ever told me about the power switch and he agreeably said no.

Yesterday he asked me how it is I don't know about these things when Andy is so into computers. I told him that is exactly the reason. I have never had a reason to know anything about computers. My brother did everything computer related when we were growing up and Andy has done it since I met him, I can't even really save something on the computer without Andy making me move so he can do it the "right way" (not that I don't know how to save something because I do know that much). On a side note, that right way once led to the hard drive going down and I lost the 13 pages I typed.

I just feel like such a computer idiot. Though I keep telling myself, it's not my fault. That it was an honest mistake that could have happened to most anyone, and that it's a lesson learned, but at the moment that isn't making me feel too much better about it all. Someday I will look back and laugh right? I look forward to the day.

Rambling

2005-06-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

I went and picked up my car registration from my parent's house yesterday and when putting the new sticker on my license plate, I noticed that there are instructions on the decal sheet, that tell you how to put the decal on. What is that all about? If you need instructions to apply a decal, then maybe you shouldn't be driving in the first place.

I know that the Goddess did a post on Mark & Mercedes from Mix 94.1 before so I will be brief. I was listening to them this morning and got so irritated (as I do most mornings) because they are idiots! I have listened to them for a while because out of the morning shows to choose from in Las Vegas, theirs is the top choice, and that should just show you how crappy the choices actually are. Anyway, I have noticed that much like the station itself having the same songs on constant rotation, they repeat conversations a lot. I have learned more about Mark and Mercedes than I would ever want to know. I won't go into detail, but the topic that irritated me this morning was about peeing in the shower. This is at least the 2nd or 3rd time they have talked about it. And they discussed it like they have never talked about it before. First of all, I don't care about this issue and what they think or what other people out there think! Second of all, come up with new topic of conversation please! I have decided that if I have to listen to the same thing constantly, I'd rather it be a CD of my choice.

I found out a couple of days ago that when our firm merges with the other one, we will probably be moving out further in Henderson. Everyone else lives out there, but me. I was told that the office will at least be just off a freeway, but what good does that do me really? Maybe I will get to work from home a little. I spend so much time in the car! I explained to my boss that at the time of day that I travel to and from work, the freeways are the biggest problem. But oh well, you do what you gotta do right? He joked and told me that I just need to move.

Household has finally done it! (HSBC now actually.) They have broken my sister's spirit. Started to at least. She works in the retention department, and she told me last night that they have changed a lot of things and that most of the sales that used to be done in retention are now done in customer care and so the people in retention are not making bonuses like they used to, if at all. She is really bummed about it. She said that she can't handle people calling and yelling at her all day. I completely understand that. It may be time for her to look for employment else where, but I honestly don't know where she would go.

I might rant about my sister sometimes, but I do worry about her. She also has made plans recently to get together with another single mom that we were acquainted with a long time ago. I guess this other person has a sob story much like my sister's. I would love to see my sister make a friend because she doesn't have many, but I would love to see it be a healthy friendly relationship. She seems to find friendship in people who are also crying the blues, so they end up feeding off each other's bad feelings and negative energy and that is not healthy. I know that their blues are justified, but I still worry about her. Maybe this one will be different, but I'm not so sure.

On a happier note, today is my parents 32nd anniversary. Happy Anniversary!!! I thought our 3rd anniversary crept up on us, I can't imagine 32. It's fortunate that Andy and I have good examples though. His parents will be celebrating 31 in October.

I know I have recently put a lot of nonsense on my blog, and so I am wondering, do people read my blog and label me "Boring Lisa"? I hope not. But which is better - not to post, or to ramble now and then about nothing? If I am just boring and you would rather see nothing, then just let me know and I will gladly oblige. :)

Overreact? Me?

2005-06-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to tell you all that contrary to popular belief, I, Lisa, am not perfect. Yes, the truth is out. There you have it. I know this news may shock and astound you, but alas, it is true.

Enough of that crap, who is perfect?!

Anyway, it seems that I have been overreacting a little these days. I will give you my two examples.

Example #1:
A couple of days ago, Andy and I went to get the mail, and in the mail were two notices from our HOA. They were notices of non-compliance that our lawn needed to be mowed and trimmed and that it is dying and needs to be restored. Non-compliance meaning they already sent us notices, notices that we didn't get, and that in turn a hearing was set for us at the closest police department on July 19th to see if we would get a fine. Also in our stack of mail was the bill for our quarterly HOA dues. I went ballistic.

Don't misunderstand me, I know why we have HOA's, but I do not like paying someone to tell me what to do and giving me a fine if I don't do it. But once again, before everyone attacks me in the name of HOA's everywhere, I understand the reason for them.

I started throwing the mail around in my huff and Andy asked me if I was mad at him. I told him flat out - yes! That the lawn is his thing and I have been telling him for ages to mow and he hasn't done it, and that he is the one who is home most of the time, not me, with plenty of opportunities to do it, and now we were in trouble because he didn't. Needless to say, in the course of our conversation he went from saying he would do it this coming weekend, to doing it sometime this week, to going outside that night and doing it before dinner. It looks good now. In his defense though, we have been working on the sprinkler system for a year now and are still trying to restore the lawn.

We took pictures with the digital camera and I emailed them the next morning to the HOA people and that was that. But boy oh boy did I have a fit about the whole thing. I overreacted.

Example # 2:
Our car registration renewal is due by tomorrow. I felt like we haven't had time to do it, and didn't get it done online quick enough, so I asked my dad - a retired disabled vet - to go to the DMV and do it for me because he doesn't have to wait in line. Now, everyone who knows me, knows that I wouldn't ask for help unless I really need it. My mom said she didn't think he could do it because the registration is in my name. I told her that I did my uncle's once and a friend did our's last year, so he could. She accepted that easy enough. Well, dad then said he would do it, but he didn't think he could because his name isn't on it. I explained to him that he could. He took more convincing than my mom, but came around. So he came to get my stuff yesterday to do it this week, and he asked me again if he could. So I went over the whole thing one more time.

Then today, I got a call from my sister that she knows "for a fact" that he can't do it for me because his name isn't on it, that I have to do it myself. I told her why I know "for a fact" that he can. She didn't listen, I got frustrated and told her I would call her back, I called the DMV and what do you know?! They confirmed for me that he can do it. They said that as long as the name on the vehicle insurance card matches the name on the vehicle registration then anyone can do it for me. So I called my sister back and snapped at her while telling her that he can do it. I could tell she was surprised and I tried to act like I was just explaining, but I know that she didn't understand why I snapped at her. I then called my dad and reiterated to him that he can do it for me. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall for a week because no one would listen to me when I knew I was right, and for my sister to get involved and tell me that she knew "for a fact", threw me over the top.

I calmed down, realized that I overreacted and called my mom and asked her to apologize to my sister for me.

So in conclusion - From this point forward I am going to do my best to keep from going into frustrated b***h mode so quickly. Try being the key word of course. :)

Love Quotes

2005-06-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

I came across these on MSN and if you are a hopeless romantic like me, you will appreciate them like I do. I think there were 23 in the online article, but there were a few I wasn't too crazy about.

She looked at him, as one who awakes:
The past was a sleep, and her life began.
--Robert Browning

But to see her was to love her,
Love but her, and love for ever.
--Robert Burns

JULIET: My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.
--William Shakespeare

I don't want to live--I want to love first, and live incidentally.
--Zelda Fitzgerald

I have learned that every man lives not through care of himself, but by love.
--Leo Tolstoy

Drink to me with your eyes alone … And if you will, take the cup to your lips and fill it with kisses, and give it so to me."
--Flavius Philostratus

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Look not in my eyes, for fear
They mirror true the sight I see,
And there you find your face too clear
And love it and be lost like me.
--A. E. Housman*

The trick is to love somebody ... If you love one person, you see everybody else differently.
--Attributed to James Baldwin

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

HELENA: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.
--William Shakespeare

The most wonderful thing in life is to be delirious and the most wonderful kind of delirium is being in love.
--Yevgeny Zamyatin

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
--Attributed to Dorothy Parker

What love is, if thou wouldst be taught,
Thy heart must teach
alone--
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
--Friedrich Halm

You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile
On the Mona Lisa...
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!
--Cole Porter

Who told you there was no such thing as real, true, eternal love? Cut out his lying tongue!
--Mikhail Bulgakov*

With you I should love to live, with you be ready to die.
--Horace (65 - 8 BC), Roman poet. From Odes.

This Past Weekend

2005-06-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hello! Long time no update. :) I guess I just really haven't had much to say. Not that I necessarily do now though.

Saturday was finally the big baby shower day. We did all the decorating on Friday night so we would only have to get food done on Saturday morning. It worked out well. The party was a big success. There were more kids than we anticipated, which kinda sucked because we had originally come up with games and stuff to keep them occupied and out of the pool, but then we found out that there weren't going to be any kids, so we scrapped all our kid ideas and then there ended up being a lot of kids there and guess where they ended up? You guessed it, in the pool! But everyone had a great time at the party. We got a lot of compliments on how well it was done, and a few people asking if we hire out. That made me smile. I'm pretty sure the parents-to-be had a good time which of course was the most important thing. If I had a scanner I will put a picture on here of the cute mommy-to-be.

I was worried that the favors that I made didn't really look like what they were supposed to look like. They were supposed to look like little baby bottles, and I thought that maybe my family was just being nice to me by telling me they were cute, but when people at the shower saw them they said - How cute, little baby bottles! So I guess I was the only one who thought maybe they didn't. So that was really good to hear. The other thing I was worried about was that a lot of times you make favors and then people don't take them, but these favors were gone. People were making sure to take them when they left. I thought that was a very good sign of a job well done. All in all, I thought my creativity really flowed for this event. Aside from the favors I made a book for people to sign and I also made up a little poem to go on the front of a "guess how many Hershey Kisses" jar. Inside the favors I also put a short poem of thanks from the baby. And everyone thought that was really cute.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, and those of you who know me know that. But it isn't often that I feel proud of myself for my efforts. I of course didn't think things we were prefect because there is always room for improvement. The thing that made me the most happy though, was in the car on the way home, Andy told me how proud he was of me and the things I had done. He told me how phenomenal he thought the favors and the book, and the poems and everything were. He told me how he thought I really made the shower by adding my little extra touches and how I should pursue this sort of thing because I have a real talent and knack for it. He gushed over me and I was eating it up, thoroughly enjoying every moment of it. I guess when you get so used to the everyday things, things that have to get done, nothing special things, that when this comes up, it is really nice to hear. Besides, I never really know what exactly I am good at or where exactly my talents lie. Some might say that Andy is biased so he will think things are good when they might not be, but I don't think that is the case. He would be the first person to tell me if he didn't like something, or if something doesn't look right, or how I can fix it and maybe make it better, etc... So to hear him telling me all that stuff was so wonderful!

But like like I said, it was a great success and people had a really good time. Way to go Baby Shower Team!!! I of course couldn't have done it without Kathy and Angela!!!

Different subject really quick. My sister asked me yesterday if I am singing at church on the day of her son's (my Godson) baptism, and I flat out told her no. She asked me why and I told her that I want to sit with my family, not run back and forth. She looked disappointed and I knew the time would come when she would ask and that she would be disappointed, but oh well! I want to sit and be the proud Godparent with Andy, who is also the proud Godparent.

It was funny yesterday after church because my sister was talking and so Andy and I took the kids (one is 3 years old, the other is 7 months) outside and I think people thought they were ours. Someone I hadn't seen in a while even stopped by me and said "it's been a lot longer than I thought." I of course told her they weren't ours. But at the same time, I must admit, I liked the feeling like they could be. I really felt the mommy twinge. Looking at Andy thinking what a great dad he will be someday. Walking around with one kid on my hip and the other holding my hand. I am just really looking forward to being a parent someday.

I guess that is it for now.

Godparents

2005-06-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Well, my sister has decided to baptize her son and she has asked Andy and I to be the godparents. Hooray!! When Briana was baptized, Kim said that she couldn't decide who would be the godparents and I wanted to shout at her - Ummm Hello???!!! But I sat quietly and I think my mom planted the little - how about your sister seed. It worked because I am Briana's godmother, but she and her husband (soon to be former) chose his brother to be godfather and he is a rat like the rest of the men in that family with no ties to church or religion whatsoever. Once again I wanted to shout - Ummm Hello???!!! But I didn't, it was none of my business. This time she didn't really ask me to be Tyler's godmother, she just told me, which I am perfectly fine with of course! But she couldn't decide who the godfather would be, Andy or our brother.

Now, my brother, I love him don't get me wrong, hasn't been to church in years. He believes in God, but doesn't believe in organized religion. Well, he has told me that he doesn't believe that God has to be in one place such as church. I understand that, but I think that is a cop out, an easy way to say - I don't have to go to church. I have tried explaining the reasons of church to him, but he doesn't listen. If I never remember anything else Fr. B told us in a homily, I will always remember the three reasons for church - community, communion, and the word of God (to be challenged by and really understand the readings).

So Andy, would be the logical choice right? A former Catholic youth missionary for 2 years, a religious family and background. He is one of the most knowledgeable people I know when it comes to the Catholic religion. But Andy decided to take a break from church. And in Kim's mind that made it a hard decision between the two. Do I need to shout - Ummm Hello???!!! again?

She called me yesterday and asked if the godparents have to be confirmed, and I told her apparently not since Ian is Briana's godfather. She then told me she read in the bulletin that the godparents you choose should be confirmed. She used the word should and took it to mean - have to. I explained to her from the church's point of view the reasons behind having godparents for your child in the first place. I guess I got through to her. HALLELUJAH!!!! Can you hear the choir singing? Because she called me and asked if Andy was off work because she was going to ask him to be Tyler's godfather. Of course he accepted. I think he would have been a little disappointed if she had asked our brother instead of him.

I'm not saying that she needed to ask Andy so that he wouldn't be offended. If my brother was the one always at church, knowledgeable in religion, etc... and would be more likely to fulfill the duties of a godparent then I would say to her - Hey choose him! But in this case Andy is the better choice.

I think people need to stop choosing godparents just so they don't offend someone. Is that the reason we have godparents? I think not. I think people should stop choosing godparents just because they are family and that family member expects it. Because is that the reason for godparents? I think not. I think people should take more time to actually consider what a godparent is and choose them based on that. That would actually make sense right? I think so.

Anyway, Andy and I are Tyler's godparents and he is being baptized on July 17 at 5:00pm mass. I hope my family doesn't expect me to sing at that mass too. I want to sit in that front row and be the proud aunt and proud godmother!

Unfortunately, the little party afterward is at our house because my sister wants a neutral territory in case the Klampet's decide to actually show up. Ummm...I don't think I'm that neutral after all. Oh well! I will pretend to be. I bet you can just see the fake hostess smile and gritted teeth on my face already can't you?

A Few Random Things I Guess

2005-06-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Des, I guess you missed my comment to you on my The Boy's Gone post about the wedding song Jason Mraz wrote. I was on his website and I found it. It's called The Right Kind of Phrase and I think it's on his live album Discography. I still hope he accepts you into his friends or whatever it is on My Space. :)

For the last two weeks my family has been at church. It has been great. First of, I love the fact that Andy has been there. I think he is finally coming back and I am sooooo excited about that! Since my Grandma has been out gallivanting on her tour of the British Isles, my parents have been able to come to CTK rather than the Shrine where Grandma likes to go. My sister has even been to church with my 3 year old niece. I had gotten used to being at church alone (though I was never alone alone because I always have my friends) that I forgot how nice it is to have family there too. My parents said they miss CTK and would like to come back, but Grandma doesn't like CTK at all and when she goes she won't take communion and complains about CTK incessantly after mass, so they are the good kids and take her where she likes to go.

I was proposed with a possible business venture on Friday afternoon. A friend called and said that she and her sister-in-law decided they want to do some kind of internet business selling party favors and things and because I have been known to be creative at times they asked if I want to be involved. She said they want to start off with baby shower stuff, and just do things for friends or friends of friends first to see how things go and then just go from there. She was way excited about the idea. I told her I would think about it and talk to Andy and let her know. Well, Andy and I talked about it and decided that I should do it. We actually figured out that there really was nothing to talk about. I do all these things all the time for showers and gifts and stuff and I have been told that I am pretty good at coming up with ideas that are somewhat unique. It wouldn't make sense to not do it. Besides, if I can make a little extra money on something I enjoy doing and something that I am good at, why not right? We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I guess that is it. I know it's a lot of nothing. I hope you all didn't mind. I think I needed to spill these thoughts that are swirling around in my head.

Quiet Day

2005-06-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

This morning was better than yesterday morning, though I overslept a half hour this morning. OOPs!! I am over the garage door thing though. Thanks Captain, your couple of Here's What Happened To Me stories made me feel better. :)

It's going to be a quiet day here at the office. Another one I guess. I don't know whether or not I like it. It's weird and lonely being in an office alone all day with no real contact with anyone. But at the same time it's kind of nice. My boss is out of town from yesterday to next Monday. The other guy in the office came in yesterday for a couple of hours, but said he probably won't be in today. Although he has nothing to do with me and my job really. He is nice, but is also really loud. So it should be really quiet today. The phone doesn't ring that often either.

I am also a little conflicted about how I feel about the merger thing that is going to take place between our company and another small firm. Everyone is really nice, I am not concerned about whether or not I will get along with people. But it might be weird actually working with people again. You know, someone maybe listening to your phone call because it has gone on too long for it being at work, or someone seeing that you are typing a personal email and you shouldn't be. I do a good job and get my work done, but I am not used to anyone really looking over my shoulder. I also have a great relationship with my boss being that we are friends as well, so obviously I am used to speaking in a friendly sort of way, but I don't know how things like that will be with the new partner. I suppose there is also the slight insecurity that often works its way into the mix. I guess I am a little afraid that they will realize they don't need me anymore or something. I am used to being the only person in the office. Taking care of everything and anything that comes around. So when I am in a different office with different people who already do some of the things that I do, will I not be needed anymore? I know that is just dumb, but sometimes I just can't help it. Fortunately, I am a very versitile person, able to adapt to almost any new situation. This will be the same. It is really a good thing and I know that it will work out just fine. Maybe even great who knows at this point. I just really hope that when we change offices I don't have to drive even farther to get to and from work every day. But I have a feeling that might happen. Only time will tell about it all. I don't even really know when it will all take place.

So how is everyone's weekend looking so far? Mine looks ok. I have a lot of work to do on things for the baby shower in a couple of weekends. It's crafty work that will be long and maybe somewhat tedious, but will be all worth it in the end. I think the finished products will look great!!! I have to get a couple more things from the craft store before I can really begin though. Other than that I have regular old house work to do. We are also supposed to be going to the movies with my brother and his wife tomorrow night. The guys are going to see Star Wars and we are going to see something else. I don't know what yet, but to be honest, I don't really feel like going. I feel like I have so much to do, and because I wasn't home at all last weekend, I don't really want to go anywhere this weekend. But we'll see what happens. I hope everyone else has a great weekend. Thanks for reading my ramblings. Maybe I can actually write about something deeper or more interesting next time.

Stuff

2005-06-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I put a poem by Shel Silverstein below. I have always loved his books. I got two of his poetry books, Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light In the Attic, for my birthday. This poem is from Where the Sidewalk Ends. I know these are supposed to be for kids, but some of his poems seem adult, like the one below. It's too true that we all have another side. One that we sometimes wish we could get rid of but we can't because it's a part of us. Other poems are just amusing. I think Andy gets a little annoyed because he has never read these poems and isn't much into poetry anyway, and as I read them I constantly go - Hey! Listen to this one! And then I read it out loud. He puts up with it with a smile though. I eventually want to get his other books even though they are childrens books I think it would be a nice collection to have. And maybe someday one of my children will appreciate them as much as I do.

Next, I have the worst luck ever!!!!!!! I don't know why I do, but I do. Some of you know about my Sunday and the little car incident I had. Well, this morning started off really crappy! I walked out into the garage, opened the garage door, got into the car as it was opening, started the car and started to back out after the door had stopped. Sounds simple and harmless enough right? Well, not so much. As I was backing out I heard the awful scraping of metal. My first thought was that I backed into something, then I turned around and looked up. The garage door chose not to open all the way this morning for some unknown reason. Prior to attempting to back out, I didn't think to check and make sure the door opened all the way. Why would I?! Thank goodness that the door only scraped the roof rack on the car and not the car itself. But I pulled back in and as I did, the thing along the bottom of the garage door was half hanging off. I pressed the button again and made sure the door opened all the way. Backed out of the garage under the part of the door where the thing wasn't hanging off and tried to figure out what to do. I tried to just close the door so I could worry about it later, but because the thing was hanging down the sensor always caught it and then the door wouldn't close. I tried to pull it off, but it's attached with a metal bar and screws and that wouldn't be easy, so I looked for packaging tape or something to tape it to the door so it wasn't hanging down at least, but we didn't have any. Finally I just went out and after a couple of tries I got it to snap somewhat back into place so that I could close the door. The bottom center of the door is dented however, so it wasn't so easy. Now we can't really open the door until we get it fixed. How do you get that fixed? The other thing is we don't have the money to get it fixed. We have to take the car in this weekend which will probably cost us, among numerous other things. Why me???

I was telling my mom about it all and I said that I have bad luck, but she said I don't. That if I did, the car and the garage door would be much worse off or I would have been hurt. That it could have been much worse. I know she is right, but sometimes I guess I just feel like wallowing! Sometimes it's really hard having a very spiritual mother and being a spiritual person myself (I think anyway) I can never wallow for long because I think the same things, she just actually says them. I guess I just get frustrated because it seems like we can't ever get ahead. There is always something. I guess I am done wallowing now though. It's happened and I will move on and figure it out like usual. It's just another one of life's little obstacles. I guess I have ranted about it enough. Time to get to the rest of my day and to try and make it better.

Us

2005-06-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

By Shel Silverstein

Me and him
Him and me,
We're always together
As you can see.
I wish he'd leave
So I'd be free
I'm getting a little bit
Tired of he,
And he may be a bit
Bored with me.
On movies and ladies
We cannot agree.
I like to dance
He loves to ski.
He likes the mountains
I love the sea.
I like hot chocolate
He wants his tea.
I want to sleep
He has to pee.
He's meaner and duller
And fatter than me.
But I guess there's worse things
We could be -
Instead of two we could be three,
Me and him
Him and me.

Daisies and a Posy

2005-06-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ring around the rosy
Pick some daisies and a posy
Tie them with a bow
Give them to the one who needs them most
Maybe right down the street
Or in the next isle
Sell them for nothing less
Than a great big smile
Sometimes happy on the outside
Is not happiness within
But you most often can't mistake
The sincerity in a grin
Smile,
For every person has a special camera
It is called the heart
It is both still and video
And every person encountered plays a part
How will you be remembered
What kind of picture will you take
What kind of role will you play
And what kind of impression will you make
The choice is yours
Do with it what you will
Remember that attitude is contagious
What kind of contagion will you forth spill
Ring around the rosy
Would you like some daisies and a posy
I picked them just for you
And tied them in a pretty little bow
Because I want to take your picture
And I just thought you should know

It's Been A While

2005-06-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hello! I know it's been a while so I thought I would check in. I'm sure everyone has been anxiously awaiting another post from me. What's that? You haven't? Oh! Well, here it is anyway. :)

This past weekend we went out to Lake Las Vegas for the first time ever. I had heard about it before, but never really gave it any thought. I didn't even know where it was until we found out about this little weekend getaway. It was a work thing, but it was fun. Andy played golf for the first time ever and unfortunately he didn't have a very good time. I think he pretended though. He had to play right handed because right handed clubs were all he had access to, and being left handed it wasn't very comfortable for him. Not to mention that becuase it was his first time playing, he was given an exploding golf ball to tee off with. By the time I saw him he was a wee bit cranky. I was a terrible wife...I sent him out into the blistering sun for the day and completely forgot to make sure he had sunblock. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a button down short sleeve shirt. He looked nice, but when he got to the golf course he was told there was a dress code, which meant no jeans allowed. Who knew?! So he had to buy a pair of shorts there (the company paid for them though..Whew...ummmm $80 for shorts?!) His poor legs (much like my own) have not seen sunlight in quite a long time and they got all sunburned. He was applying aloe all day yesterday. He took a nap on Saturday afternoon in the room while I went for a 1 hour Sweedish massage (aahhhhh!!!) and by dinner time he wasn't cranky anymore. It was a really nice night out. Then we just came back to town yesterday to run around all day like usual.

On a side note though, I don't know if any of you have been out to Lake Las Vegas, but there are some cute shops (cute just to look at, did I mention $80 shorts?), but near the shops on the lake, they have a big grassy area, and every Saturday through June and July they have a live band (jazz I think) playing. I think they start at 7:00 or 7:30 and you can just go out there and bring a blanket to sit on, or a folding chair, whatever, and relax and sit and enjoy the summer night air and the music. I think people were even up dancing. So it sounds and looked like it would be a really nice night out.

Other than that, life is just life. I desperately need to clean my house again and do laundry again and do some work outside the house, I have a baby shower coming up that I am helping plan (I'm very excited about it, but there is a lot of work left to do), and aside from that stuff there is just the pesky every day stuff like, I have to go to work to make sure I earn a paycheck to pay for it all that gets in the way of all the other things that need to be done. Oh, the cost of living in the lap of luxury...well right now we are really sitting at the feet of the lap of luxury, but it's comfortable just the same. :)

I also wanted to mention that I got two new CD's recently that are great! Though I don't know if any of you like this type of music. One is Weezer and the CD title is Make Believe. The other is Audioslave, Out of Exile. They are both really terrific. Weezer is alternative and some of their songs are a little goofy, but I really like it. There are a couple of songs I really like the words to that I might share on this blog someday. Audioslave is the band members from Rage Against the Machine and Chris Cornell, the lead singer from Soundgarden. I think this match is much better than the Velvet Revolver union. This is the 2nd Audioslave CD and I think they are awesome!! Both CD's are really good. I really like Chris Cornell's voice and the guitarist does things I have never heard a guitarist do before. They are alternative, but a little bit heavy rock at the same time. I also heard the new Jason Mraz song the other day and I thought that was very good. I can't wait until his new CD comes out.

I think that is about all from me for now. You know that pesky job thing I was talking about, well, I am there and I'd better go now. SHHHHH....don't tell anyone you saw me here at this time.

Just a Rant I Guess

2005-05-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sure everyone knows the outcome of American Idol by now. I knew at about 7:30 last night. I cheated. I usually cheat every week when finding out who got the boot. I didn't want to watch the finale and I wanted to get to bed early since I haven't gotten much sleep in a while, so I just asked Andy, as usual, to find the results online. Since it was already over by 7:00pm our time, the answer was already out there. A two hour finale for only about 5 minutes that you really want to see is just ridiculous and I didn't want to wait to find out. Before going to bed though I did see the opening song with the 10 finalists that had already gotten kicked off, and it was a medley of older songs that they were doing, and I don't know about you, but I thought it really affirmed why they were kicked off, and also left the question hanging over them "How in the heck did you get here in the first place???!!!" Sure a couple of them were ok, but the majority, not so much. Which also tells me (not that I was going to go) that the tour with them all in concert is not going to be very good. One of the worst if not the worst, was the girl from here, Mikala (sp?). She is so awful!!! She really needs to get over herself and her friends and family need to stop being so mean by encouraging her. The other thing I noticed was that they all were trying to be like "you kicked me off, but here's what you're missing!" Like they all tried to add an air of individuality to the part of the song they were doing and it just sounded as Simon would say, Dreadful! Absolutely dreadful! And I got all that from just the opening song! But anyway, now we have our idol and it doesn't really matter who won because you know Bo will have a record deal anyway. The real question is now, will we ever see Carrie or Bo again? What do you think?

Not much else going on in my world. Is that sad? I kinda like it this way. I'm a bit busy, but nothing major going on. Maybe I'll finally get to clean the house this weekend! Gee, sounds like a blast huh?

I really need a Vanilla Latte! But I am at work now, I wish Starbuck's delivered! :)

Too Much Time?

2005-05-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

I was somewhere recently where we were all discussing blogs. A couple of us were trying to describe them to the older crowd. One of the people in the older crowd said - "you have too much time on your hands". Why??? Because we type a little something now and then? I'm sure there are people out there who do have too much time on their hands, and good for them, must be nice, but not one of us in that room that night. It's not that I took offense to the comment, don't get me wrong, I just felt like it was such a misstatement. That is like telling everyone with a hobby (which would be everyone) that they have too much time on their hands. Doesn't everyone need to have something? Even though there are quite a few of us with a blog out there, no two are the same. They show our creativity and inidividuality. They share our feelings and emotions and thoughts we might not otherwise know how to reveal. Like my "Ode to a Friend", that would have been something I thought, but without this blog, I would never have known how to say it, and in turn it never would have been said. It's no big deal really, I just didn't appreciate the implication that because I have a blog, I have nothing better to do than sit at my computer and enter in my thoughts. I know for sure that I don't have too much time on my hands. Neither does anyone else I know with a blog. I do know people who sit at the computer all the time for fun and don't have a blog. :)

Anyway, that is my rambling for the day. :)

The Boy's Gone

2005-05-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

It is my turn to post song lyrics I guess.

The Boy's Gone - Jason Mraz

The boy's gone. The boy's gone home.

What will happen to a face in the crownd when it finally gets too crowded
And what will happen to the origins of sounded after all the sounds have sounded
Well I hope I never have to see the day but by God I know it's headed our way
So I better be happy now that the boy's going home. The boy's gone home

And what becomes of a day for those who rage against it
And who will sum up the phrase for all left standing around in it

Well I suppose we'll all make our judgement call
We'll walk it alone, stand up tall, then march to the fall
So we better be happy now that we'll all go home.

Be so happy with the way you are
Be so happy that you made it this far
Go on be happy now. Please be happy now

Because this is something else
this is something else

I tried to live my life and live it so well
But when it's all over is it heaven or is it hell
I better be happy now that no one can tell, nobody knows
I'm gonna be happy with the way that I am
I'm gonna be happy with all that I stand for
I'm gonna be happy now because the boy's going home.

The boy's gone home.

A note about Jason Mraz. I liked him when I heard him on the radio, then Des took me to his concert last year and I thought he was a wonderful performer! I bought his CD some time ago and I listen to it all the time. I love it! I really like the way he sings, I like his original lyrics and I like his different musical style.

From the first time I heard this song, it made me think about life. This is why it makes me think:

So often we live a life outside ourselves. A life wanting what others have. Whether it be big things like fame and fortune, or a new house, car, jewelry, possessions possessions possessions. Or even the same physical or character attributes of others. We don't want to be ourselves. I try to be myself, but sometimes I can't help but get a little jealous over this or that or the other thing. I would be lying if I said I didn't do that. But I remind myself that I am who I am and I have a wonderful life. I have to live my life to the best of my ability and be happy with that. I am happy with my accomplishments and I look forward to others in the future. I have to go home and home is in me.

Everyone has heard the phrase, home is where the heart is, but what does that mean? It could mean our house because we usually love our dwelling space, but then you can take it the next level and say that home is with our spouse because wherever they are is where we'll be, which of course is completely true, but then I think it can go another step further, deeper, home is where the heart is because home is our heart. I think that if we are truly happy within ourself, then we will always be home. Also because as I have said before, God is our heart and it all goes back to Him. In Him we are home. Though, I doubt Jason Mraz had any sprirtual intentions when writing those lyrics. :)

So, even though I don't know what he meant when writing the lyrics, this is what I get. I may not even be explaining all the things I think about with these lyrics, and I might not be explaining myself well, but I know what I mean. As if that helps you any right? :) Heck, you might even get something completely different from them and think that I am just crazy! But that is the wonderful thing with the written word, with poetry.

Hope this didn't bore you to death! If it did, thanks for reading anyway! :)

Ode to a Friend

2005-05-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

Hello out there. This post is directed to the Captain (in a good way don't worry)I was reading your post and it got me to thinking. One thing I want to say is that, in my head, when I see the word Diva or Devo, it usually has a smile attached. I use it with a warm fuzzy feeling not a negative.

Ok, next... You know that I love the way you play and that I, like everyone else, am spoiled by it, but I care more about your happiness than needing you to play at mass. From first hand experience, when you walk away from something with the intention of possibly never coming back, if God does call you to come back at a later time, then you tend to do it more on your own terms with a better outlook on it. God has given you a great gift of talent, spirituality and leadership, but with the way things sound, you aren't using those gifts in the way God intended. I don't think He gave you these gifts to use out of obligation. And I really think He, as well as the rest of us, would understand if you took off for however long you need. At one point in time I kept telling Andy, I HAVE to, because I HAVE to, the word have was everywhere, and he finally said - why do you HAVE to? And it really made me think. I didn't HAVE to do anything. Your obligation is not to the church. Your obligation is to yourself and your spouse. And if you aren't happy then what is the point? I read once that God wants us to be happy because when we are happy, He is happy and I believe that. I think you should definitely explore other options if you don't want to leave completely. Like maybe one Sunday 5pm mass a month or something like that. I think you should be able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. There are others paid to step in when you aren't there to volunteer (figure that one out!). You should live a happy life, not a life of perpetual obligation, you aren't a priest for crying out loud! :) Yes, this may have made you happy in the beginning, but if it doesn't anymore, then I think it is defintely time to re-evaluate the situation. You should know that no matter what you decide, you are much loved and appreciated and always will be. BE HAPPY!! I think that is all that anyone close to you wants for you.

I believe that in all that we do, there is a ripple affect, and I think that we can choose what kind of ripples we want to make, and that we should choose them wisely. That we should choose them for God. We may be the heart of the ripple, but God is our heart. The good thing about the ripple affect is that even if we make a bad choice that causes a negative ripple affect, it is not the end because there is always another ripple waiting. We can go back to our heart, back to God, and choose a different affect.

I hope this came out ok. I hope you know that this was done in the best of intentions, and I hope you don't mind me posting my thoughts to you like this. Love ya dear Friend!

Just Some Stuff

2005-05-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written in a long time, and I guess that is because I really haven't had anything to say. But I guess I will just share some random stuff.

First, to Mike, I'm sorry for saying you wrote a book on Des's blog. It was great of you to share. So please, don't hold back, share those books, I mean comments, as much as your little old heart desires! :)

Second (and these are really in no particular order), Diva moments, we all have them, men too. So what is it called for a guy? We should give it new name. I'm sure someone somewhere can come up with something creative, unless there is something out there I don't know about. But nonetheless, I love every diva (insert the male name here) I know.

Third, in England they call blinkers, indicators, perhaps that is because people in England actually use them and indicate where they are going, where as here, if you blink you'll probably get into an accident because of the person who cut you off without indicating that they would do so in the first place.

Fourth, I have a great life. I have a husband I love dearly, who loves me just as much, I have a great house and car, a steady paycheck, and a job I really like, I have a wonderful family and so many wonderful friends. I was thinking about it recently and if there ever came a time when I needed something, I don't think I could ever run out of people to turn to between all of my family and friends. There was a time in my life in the past when I didn't really have any friends and so I never could have imagined how blessed I'd be today. It really is true that as time goes by and people grow up, you realize who will be walking next to you on the long road of life. There are just so many people I love and adore and admire, and hold dear. You all know who you are and I appreciate it and thank you very much for being there!

Fifth, I used to say that I am a coffee addict, but I was wrong because I know now, that I really really am. If I don't have a cup (or two) of coffee in the morning, I miss it, and if I walk in somewhere and smell coffee I perk right up because I love the smell. And I could have a cup of coffee anytime of the day. I don't think this is any worse than being addicted to soda (which I hardly ever drink) or cigarettes (no thank you), or anything else, but someday I will have to quit cold turkey I'm sure, and I wonder how I will handle that.

And last, and this is probably the only time I'll make a comment about this, is Woo Hoo!! Just 10 days until my birthday!!

I think that is my random thoughts for the moment. I will hopefully have something better for you all next time.

Love ya!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2005-05-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember that song? Anyway, hello everyone!! I am back from the cruise and sitting at my desk ready to get to work. And boy do I have a lot of work to do!! But I am here a bit early after taking Andy to work this morning so I thought I would take a few minutes and post something for crying out loud!! :)

Our vacation was great!! It was absolutely wonderful to spend time away together that didn't include family members. We left last Saturday and then spent Sunday walking around Long Beach, then the cruise left Monday, got back Friday and we got home on Saturday. To get the icky things that happened out of the way, darn my motion sick stomach!! On the formal evening everything was fine until after dinner when I got sea sick and couldn't really leave the room. That was the 2nd night, so the next two nights I took Dramamine (less drowsy formula) before dinner and all was well. Then we got a flat tire while on the freeway in CA on the way home, but fortunately the SUV's come with full spares now, so Andy got all down and very dirty and changed the tire and we were off again.

Other than those two things everything was great!! No email, no cell phones, no worrying about where to be and when to be there, no family issues to fret over, nothing! Just us! San Diego and Catalina were nice, but Ensenada was so much worse than I had ever seen it before. Granted it is Mexico, but it was awful!! Andy was really miserable just being there. The people are so pushy that it just puts you off all together! I told Andy that at least now he can say he's been there and seen it and now we never have to go back. But it was an experience for sure!!

We had great service of course on the ship. We also had fun dinner companions. It was a honeymoon couple from UT (yes Mormon, students at BYU), and two med students from Ohio. Then of course my comedian husband (yes folks, he will be performing for the duration of your cruise, nightly at 5:30.) It was a little weird being the old married couple at the table. :) But still fun.

I'm sure we didn't take advantage of all the ship had to offer, we actually, I know we didn't, but that is ok because we relaxed and had a good time and that was the most important thing. We didn't eat ourselves to death. In fact, I don't really think we ate much more than usual. And we didn't do the midnight chocolate buffet. (Yes, I said it and it is the truth!) Sounds weird I know, but for some reason by 11:30 that night I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open and it just didn't sound or even look that appetizing to me. And I am a chocoholic!! But I don't regret a thing. So don't give me a hard time about it! :)

So, as I said, we had a great time! We are all relaxed and now it is back to life and reality. I think Andy is a little more upset about it than I am. Ok, a lot more upset! But we were glad to get back to our house, our bed, our shower, all the things we sometimes take for granted!!

Oh, and before I forget, I know what cruise envy feels like. I think I hear the grass calling again to remind us that the grass isn't always greener...Are you so sick of hearing that?!?! But yes I know, some people got a honeymoon when we didn't and boy oh boy was I envious. But, as Andy would say, such is life. I'm just trying to say I understand completely is all. :)

I hope everyone out it cyberspace is doing well!! Bye again for now!

Just Because

2005-04-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

I don't really have much to say, but I thought I would post just because I haven't in a while. Like some other people I know. (You know who you are.) :)

Anyway, there really isn't much going on in my life. It's the same old thing really. Just looking forward to vacation time. We leave this Saturday and come back the following weekend. We are sooo excited!!! A real vacation!!! We can hardly believe that we are actually going. Because it's hard to believe, we are really behind. Of course we won't pack until Friday night, but I didn't even book our hotel room for the 2 nights before the cruise and the 2 nights after until a couple of days ago. That is so unlike me. I can't wait to just go and relax and not have to worry about anything.

We did a little bit more around the house last weekend. Andy was a real handyman. My dad came over and helped him while my mom and I spent time together. Andy changed the showerhead in our bathroom, all the smoke detectors (we didn't have any actually), my dad helped him change some sprinkler heads because our lawn was dying. I think my dad said it was because we needed to replace the celluloids? Which they did of course, the changed the dining room chandelier, and also put in a new thermostat. Our thermostat was ancient! In the meantime, mom and I went to Famous Footwear just to look, then to Michaels craft store then to Target and we put up curtains in the family room and got rid of the verticle blinds. Now all that is left (aside from very costly projects) is to finish up the curtains. That will probably be done in about a month. But it will look great when it's all finished.

So that is it I guess. See, nothing too interesting going on in my life right now. I'm going to see my cousin and her new baby, Trent, tonight after work. I can't wait to see him!! I'm sure he is sooo cute!

That is all for now. Bye! Bye!

Decisions and Choices

2005-04-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

Decisions Decisions
We agonize over them
Then it becomes
Choices Choices
And we trip
Head first
Over the decision we made
Life is hard
So many decisions
So many choices
Many wrong turns
Many right directions
You pray for the path
And stumble along the way
You make the choice
To not to stray
We are given wonderful opportunities
That can just as easily
Be taken away
Things are dumped in our lap
That we can never seem to get rid of
But as I said
Life is hard
Still I thank God
For waking me every morning
And the truth is
I will continue to agonize
Over decisions
And I will continue to trip
Over my choices
I will follow the path
And try not to stray
And I will always stumble
Along the way
But there is always
A gentle hand on my back
Guiding me along
Sometimes it's more like a shove
But I get the point
And I will continue to travel
And I will continue to pray
Please God
Show me the way...

Life

2005-04-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize over the years that life is an experience. Everything that happens to you, or doesn't happen to you for that matter, make you who you are. You learn from the experiences God has put in front of you. I am a completely different person today having realized that than I once was. I also realize that it takes time to come to this realization and it takes growth.

Someone might read this and think - what have you ever gone through? And that is one thing you also learn over time, not to speculate that someone else's life is so much better than yours or that you know that person when you really don't because the truth is, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I have been hurt by friends, family members, even acquaintences. But you take that experience and learn from it. I have learned that people sometimes come and go. That not everyone is meant to be a permanent fixture in your world. And that is ok. The ones who are most important stay, and that is the way it is. Whether the people who come and go leave a mark, good or bad, you learn from that and move on.

I have found that another important thing to learn in life is that you will move on. That you must move on. Because if you stay where you are forever then what exactly is the point of living? I was hurt terribly by two people in the past, one I thought was a friend and one an acquaintence. I told the acquaintence exactly how I felt after the situation was over, and he did apologize to me, but added that if the situation were to be relived, he would do everything exactly the same. In some ways that is not an apology at all, but I have learned to accept it for what it is, and I am no longer angry because I have taken that and moved on. The other person who was a friend, I tried so many times to tell how I felt, but he wouldn't listen, he would just start defending himself and his actions and even placing blame on other people. That was nearly six years ago and to this day, I have still never received an apology from him, but that is ok, I don't expect one. I have learned to live with that. I have learned to accept him for who he is and move on. I figured out that by holding on to my ill feelings toward him, I was doing nothing to him. I realized that being angry and bitter was a punishment to me, not to him. It was detrimental to me, not to him. I had to let go and when I realized that, I felt freedom. You also must learn to find the good in the bad situations. One of the best things in my life also came from this bad experience in my life.

I have learned that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. He speaks to us, even if we don't understand at that moment what he is saying because in time we will. But we have to listen. I read recently that life is a test and a trust from God. What we do here on earth determines our life in heaven. This is only the beginning, the end is much much later on. It is not up to us to point fingers or place blame, though that seems like the easiest thing to do. It is up to us to examine our life and live it the best we can, not for ourselves, but for God because He has entrusted us with it. We must take our experiences, the good the bad and oh so very ugly, and learn from them, grow from them.

Growing up is hard to do. Growing as a person no matter what age, is even harder. It means letting go of the past, letting go of detrimental relationships, accepting those we love whole heartedly. We have power. We have the power to let God lead us. To accept that He has all the power, but that with his guidance we will never fall. When we think we have all the power and hold on to things that aren't good for us, in actuality, we are giving someone else power over us and that isn't what God wants from us. Accept life as an experience and all that it entails, including hurt and anger, but most importantly love.

I'm not trying to lecture, or act like I know everything, we never stop experiencing and learning, but I think this is important for everyone. I know that I am a much better person for having realized it. God is my power, my guidance, my strength. Through Him I will learn to grow and move forward toward my place in heaven where someday my life will truly begin. And I try not to forget that I will never fall.

Where the Weekend Went

2005-04-11T06:14:00.000-07:00

I really don't know where our weekend went. It seems like one minute we were looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday morning and the next minute we were going to bed, dreading getting up so early today. Saturday was fun because I spent it with my mom and a little time with my sister and her kids, but mostly my mom, and Andy spent the day with my dad. I bought some stuff for our house like an area rug for the family room area and new curtains for our bedroom. But we left the house at 11:30 that morning and got home around 10:00 at night. That day just kinda flew, which meant that I didn't get anything done in the house that I had expected to that day (though I did make Andy help me put the curtains up when we got home that night :)).

That leads me to Sunday. Some of you reading might wonder what happened to us and why we didn't show up at the church picnic. I am sorry that we didn't, but pleased that we didn't. We rearranged our bedroom and really cleaned up, finally went through a few boxes that have been sitting there since we moved in over a year ago, and Andy also cleaned the bathrooms. I love the way the room looks now and the way we did it gives us so much more space in there. I am really happy with it. Before I knew it, I had to get ready and go out and meet someone about starting to plan a baby shower. So that took care of Sunday. I am so happy that I took the time to do something in the house though and I am really happy with the way it is coming together. I am trying to do one room a week, and that is 2 down, 1 to go. The computer room is what's left - YUCK!! But until now, I didn't know what it was like to really be proud of your house. I am so glad it is finally getting to a place where I want to show it to people. Rather than not inviting anyone over because it is just a mess and I don't want anyone to see it. Though there is still a long way to go, but I know there will always be something.

So anyway, that might not sound like much of an excuse to you, but it is the truth and I am sticking to it and I am very happy about it. I hope you had fun though. If anything, I'm sure the music at mass was AWESOME!!! :)

By again for now!

So Freakin Early

2005-04-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I had to get up at 4:00am this morning so that I could get Andy to work on time. It's not that much different from my normal day, but for some reason 4:00 as opposed to 5:00 seems like such a huge difference. It's just not natural. I am sitting at my desk at work typing this at 6:00 in the morning. It's crazy!! I know a lot of people say working from home isn't good, but I would absolutely love to do it!! Maybe in the future. Oh well. Today and then all next week and then we go back to the way things were. Or we could actually get a second car sometime in the near future instead of just talking about it. We have a few things on our mind right now that we need to get through though. One thing at a time.

Thanks to You

2005-04-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks to you
Past and present
The ones who fought
The ones who fight
Who have the strength
And the courage to stand up for what's right
It is you
All of you
Past and present
Who make sure we live each day
In the only way we know
And that is - our own way
We can walk our streets
We can dress as we please
We can speak freely
And have the freedom to do these things daily
Freedom is the word
You not only stand up for ours
But for the downtrodden
The ones who in life have only know discord
To you I am grateful
For without you where would we be
I can't thank you enough
For protecting everything right
And in essence, everyone living
For protecting me
You leave your family
You serve and protect so many
That you will never meet
And you do so without question
You do so willingly
I can never thank you enough
But forever I will try
I will speak your praises
Until the end of time
For each and every one of you
Past and present
Hold a special place in my heart
Behind you I will always stand
And always do my part
Thanks to you
Past and present
I believe each and every soldier is truly
A gift from God
Each and every one of you
Past and present
Is truly heaven sent...

Waterfall

2005-04-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

There is a sweet surrender
When you accept the inevitable
There is a quiet peace
When you accept the loss of all things detrimental
No matter how excitingly experimental
There is a solemn vow
When you agree to mend a heart that's tender
There is only love
When these things wash over you
From above like a warm waterfall
And you hum so softly the harmony
That is your sweet surrender's call...

The Hurrier I Go

2005-04-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

I was at my grandma's house last night when I spotted a needlepoint in a frame that she did years ago. I have seen it many times, but it never really made sense to me until last night. It says "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get." I remember when she was making it when I was a kid, but like I said, it never really made sense to me until now. She told me last night that it is an old Pennsylvania Dutch saying. How true it is though. We spend so much time rushing around to get things done only to be piled down by more.

That kinda leads me to my next topic, though you may think it's a stretch. I'm sure you have noticed that whenever you are in a hurry to get somewhere, you end up hitting every red light along the way. Well, in that case, the more I'm in a hurry, the more behind I end up being. I travel a long distance to and from work everyday and the drivers on the road drive me insane!!!! Everyone is always in such a hurry. Even if a car keeps pushing me to move faster and before I know it, I am going 80mph, they still have to go around me because there is space in front of me and I am not going fast enough. Why do they have to go 80-100mph? I always wonder if they are actually in a hurry or not.

It's so frustrating because you can't drive like a normal sane person anymore. I remember when I started driving 8 or 9 years ago and everyone went about 5-10 miles over the speed limit. Nothing like it is today. I can help but wonder if it is all these people moving in from other places bringing all their bad habits. And if that is the case - I wish they would just go back to where they came from!!!!!! The hard part about it is, the attitudes of other drivers are contageous. Whether or not the perceived attitudes are actually true to the driver, it doesn't matter. It is negativity released to all who come in contact. But why do they have such power? I try not to let it bother me, but I can't help it. Especially as I notice more and more that no one likes to indicate where they are going anymore. We have blinkers (indicators) for a reason. I don't think I saw anyone use a blinker on the way into work this morning. It all just bothers the heck out of me!!!

Anyway, I know this is just a rant, but in many ways the point is, the hurrier I go, the behinder I get. Do you think these things are contributing factors to the premature grey hairs I have?

Number 2

2005-03-28T22:14:00.000-08:00

Rumble Rumble
Rough and tumble
Each day we sputter
Each day we fumble
Where have we come from
Where are we going
We are trying to escape
But to where?
He whispers gently in our ear
Is it home you seek
My home is of the meek
My home is of the humble
And to my home
I will help you stumble
I am in the Wind
I am in the trees
I am in each wave
I am among the seas
I am in your heart
Just do you part
And into my kingdom you will come
What you must do
To be with me
Is heed my one and only task
Come without question
Though I will answer
But try not to ask
Follow your heart
But follow my lead
Please don't rush
This is not about speed
Remember that I have always
And will always
Catch you when you fall
The one thing I ask of you
Is to listen for my call

Rough and Tumble

2005-03-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

Rumble Rumble
Rough and tumble
Get in a jab here
A punch in the air there
Oh how the words do spew
Out of the mouth of a catty girl
Nice words are few
And far between
Goodness long since seen
Oh where oh where
Has little orphan Annie been
I'm all grown up
Oh can't you see
You must be blind
Hello - don't you see me??
She asks and asks
Among her other tasks
Of becoming her own center
Of the universe
You must know
A sweet lullaby she sings
While in her heart the beast screams
You must hear that noise she yells
Such an awful story this beast tells
Can you hear it
Don't you see it
There it is in front of you
While all along she holds a mirror
Up to her face and she shrieks in terror
Can you hear it
Don't you see it in front of you
While all the while
She's the only beast she sees
And she buckles to her knees
She weeps and weeps
While the mirror she keeps
Gripped tightly in her hand
She must hold on
In this mirror is her universe
For if she can't see herself
Then who else can?

Make of this what you will
It's just a simple story
For in each heart
Lies this beast
Who wages a war
A war so deep and so gory
That to a certain point
An inner depth we travel
Until no further can we go
And this sword of the beast
Begins to unravel
We are then left with what began
A simple heart
A simple soul
A beautiful mind under God's control

5-10 Years

2005-03-22T12:05:00.000-08:00

I was recently asked where I see myself in 5-10 years? What my long-term career goals are? What a question!! For most people I know this is an easy one. For me, not so easy. I have absolutely no idea! Do I want to keep doing what I am doing? Do I want to go to college and do what I am doing to the next degree? Do I want to do something else? If yes, then what is that something else? So many questions!!! As if life wasn't hard enough sometimes just getting out of bed, making sure your spouse is happy, making sure you have clean clothes, groceries, that the house is clean, that the bills are paid, need I go on? I didn't think so.

First, there is so much to consider. Some things are easy, like I know that I want to be successful and by that I mean, happy, stable, satisfied. Growing up I was always taught that it doesn't matter what you do, but to take pride in it. Once I made a comment about how upset I was with my job and that I felt like I should be cleaning toilets somewhere instead of doing what I was doing, and boy did I get an ear full from Mom and Dad!!

Yet, the question remains and always will remain, where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? Of course I see us with kids, and that becomes one of the things to consider. If I have a child in the near future, I won't have time to begin college right? And then after I won't have time to go to college right? That can't be right. I can probably fit everything in as long as I decide what I want to do and as long as I have a goal. So, why is so hard to formulate a goal?

There are so many things that interest me that I could consider doing, I think. The decision is just so hard. I think I am good at a few different things, and I am not a stupid person, so I think I could probably do whatever I put my mind to. I must admit however, that underneath this tough exterior of mine (is it tough?), I am scared to death of failure. Perhaps that is why I become so easily complacent with the here and now of life and have such a hard time setting a long-term goal.

I guess it is time to seriously start thinking about where I see myself in 5-10 years before 5-10 years happens and I wonder where it went. Easier said than done though. I'll keep ya posted because I know what I just posted said absolutely nothing!

I'm just sitting here thinking about my family members and I am beginning to realize that none of them really had long-term career goals. Everyone just kind of ended up where they ended up. This is probably the reason I have such a hard time with goals myself.

Friendly suggestions welcome. No psychoanalysis please. As you may notice, I already do enough of that to myself. :)

Dream Come True...Sort of

2005-03-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it, sort of...I spent the entire day yesterday on the couch! Aside from doing laundry I did nothing else, but sleep and watch movies on TV. I woke up at 8:00 and got in the shower and started moving around the house like I had a purpose, which I did at first. I had so many things to get done. But then I sat on the couch and just never really got up! It was great!!!! Wonderful!!!! One of the best days ever!!!! Though I still think I need a vacation, and I would still like to take a couple of days off and hide under the blankets in bed, but I was close to all that yesterday and it was great!!!!

Andy on the other hand, was supposed to take the car for an oil change and never did, which I was upset about, but he did mow the lawn and weed the back yard. Hey he spends a lot of time on his butt while I am off running around working mine off, so why not let it be the other way around for a day right?! I took a nap while he mowed and weeded! :)

Death Penalty - Right or Wrong?

2005-03-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

I am perplexed by the whole death penalty thing. If you didn't know, Scott Peterson just got the death penalty, which is what has sparked this particular post. I just don't know what view to take on it.

On one hand, I think, if someone has commited such a heinous crime as murder, they should rot in jail for the rest of their life so that they can mourn the life they also lost by killing someone, and they can spend every day for the rest of their life thinking about what they have done.

On the other hand, if someone has committed murder and has no remorse, is the jail thing then the right thing? Because then they won't think about what they have done, they will just think about what they no longer have and make it about themselves instead of about their victim and the victim's family.

However, should we go with the eye for an eye theory, or should we go with the don't play God theory? Because someone chose to do this, what gives us the right to choose the same for them? We so often hear the platitudes, everything happens for a reason and it's all part of God's plan. And I do believe that, but then where does that put legally condemning someone to die? Surely God doesn't want us killing someone else right? The death penalty is the plan of the people and not part of God's plan. I think I have just worked myself through it. I know that as a Catholic I am not supposed to even be at odds with this, that the choice should be clear, and even though I often think I have made my decision and have chosen where I will stand, I still at times feel conflicted by it.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

A Simpler Time

2005-03-17T07:43:00.000-08:00

Roll out of bed you sleepy head
Brush your teeth
Make your bed hair look neat
Don't whine or complain
Just because it's work day again
Smooth out your shirt
Put on your work shoes
Then out the door for another day
Lose the blues.

A simpler time
I remember when
Playing in the back yard
Mom making the cuts and scrapes better
A broken arm on the mend
When life is innocent
Time stands still
When it's all about the next vacation from school
Or faking being ill
That exciting day out at the park
And being home before dark

As a teenager
And life was oh so cruel
A catty's girls battle over a boy
Becomes your next duel
Being invited to the dance
Or even to the party
You watch as the pretty girls prance
And all the boys drool
You want to be rid of the teenage complexion
You want to be someone else
One who does not know rejection
But you go on dates
See a few movies
Hang out with your friends
Try desperately to keep up with the trends
You still wait for the next vacation from school
Look forward to the summer
And hanging out by the pool
A simpler time
I remember when

Suddenly, without warning
You wake up one morning
And realize there are no summer vacations
And life has hit you
You aren't invincible
You can't do everything
You have limitations
Staying up late
What is that?
You have bills to pay
Work Work Work
Who else is going to do it?
Who else will keep your lifestyle a certain way?
No more being innocent
Someone always bailing you out
No more getting your way by batting your eyes
Or putting on that cute little pout.

When did that happen?
When did it change?
When did this children's book become a novel?
And who is turing the page?
I don't want to go back
But sometimes I don't want to stay here.
I wish there was away to make everything clear

Free my mind
Free my soul
Tell me how to be happy and satisfied
No burdens
No holes.

I know there are no answers
And life is a wonderful thing
There is happiness all around
To breathe another day
Means another day to sing.

So, for now it must be
We roll out of bed
Yet another day
Brush our teeth
Smooth out our shirt
And get on our way.

Until next time.

Dream Dream Dream Dream

2005-03-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

In case you don't know, and I'm sure you don't, I am singing a song. Dream is wonderful isn't it?! Of course, dreaming of a world where there is nothing but peace and harmony is a given, but I also dream about a different world, for me anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, and I know the grass is not at all greener on the other side. What I dream about is a day, or two or three where all I do is stay in bed and sleep. I don't even care if I eat! Eating, even though I do enough of it, is not that important to me.

I dream of a day, or two or three, where everyone I know is happy and satisfied, so that I don't have to worry about them. A few days where I can sleep in and I actually do end up sleeping in. Where I can curl up under the covers and not come out for a little while and no one will care.

I'm not at all drepressed or unhappy, just tired. What I wouldn't give for a few days without dishes, or laundry, or someone asking me what's for lunch or dinner. I just want to sleep. Do you even notice that when you can't sleep in, you want nothing more than to sleep in, but when you can, for some reason you just can't? NO? Maybe it's just me then.

So, I would just like a few days where there is nothing for me to do, no where for me to be. A few days where I can just be. Somehow, it seems like the weeks get shorter, but I end up in some redundant world where every day in the week is just the same as it will be in the next and the next and the next. Somehow the phrase "live life to the fullest" ended up meaning, pack as much as you can into 24 hour incriments in a 7 day week.

Maybe I really do just need a vacation.

Once again, I love life, I love my husband, I love my family, friends, house, job, everything, and I am not depressed or anything even remotely close. I am just flat out tired.

But having said that, I am off to make dinner, and then do other household chores, then off to bed, and start again tomorrow.

I know that anyone who reads this (ummm...all one of you - Hi Des!! :)) know exactly what I am talking about.

Well Here It Is

2005-03-14T18:23:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much I will have to say or how often I will say it, but I thought I would jump on the blog bandwagon and post my thoughts. Until a couple of weeks ago I had no idea what a blog was or why in the world anyone would want one, but then I started reading a couple of friend's blogs and well, here I am. I don't really have much more to say at this moment in time, but guess it is nice to know that there is a place to say it when I want to.